Almost Heaven, except heaven is free

I thought I had died and gone to heaven. It was just as I had left it, seven years ago. Well, not exactly,how I left it, for starters, there was no banana boat passing by the last time I was there, but you get the picture. I felt breathless, as I always do the moment my eyes were feasted upon it's beauty and as my foot took the first plunge onto it's land and felt it's white soft sand caressing my feet. My lungs embraced the salty clean air with pleasure, brought by cool gentle breeze blowing through my hair, just like they almost always do in the Bollywood movies when the leading woman makes her debut into the scene. If it was not for my sepet eyes, I swear for a brief moment, I felt like Ashwaryia Rai. Suddenly, it became clear to me, I am home...

For those of you who have not been to Redang Island, then you have not seen a preview to Almost Heaven, Malaysian version of course. (That's a nuance way of saying,"why the fuck aren't you there yet?!!!"). It is like being in love. When you've experienced one of the best sanctuary, you know you cannot do without it and anything else won't do. You keep going back, wanting for more.
Honestly, swimming in Redang, I was not thinking of going back home, until I was reminded with stabbing cruelty by my common sense that I need to go back and work to be able afford the holiday. Damn common sense!!!
Hmm...I wonder if my company accepts temporary insanity as reason for absence from work. The sad part about being a doctor, is that , you cannot sign your own MC. Damn the system!!

Below: All that water going through my orifices, awakened the artist in me....what little amount of extra salt can do to the brains...Besides, being buried in the sand with the imaginary sand boob size slapped onto the chest is a boring cliche...


Below: A view from our lazy chair at Coral Redang...


With the lazy flers lying around in it..Although I came, I was told, just as the monsoon had begun to leave, the sea, was restless, yet was still perfect for dipping and swimming. I remember though, the last time I was there, was in the month of August. The water was as still as those ordered at posh restaurants and even at chest water level, you could still identify the fungus patch on your foot if there was no Nemo passing by to obscure your view. We snorkeled just by the beach. Come to think of it, you don't really need to snorkel as the water was clear (unless you have visual impairment and forgot your glasses) and calm, and the fishes came to us. Judging by all intact digits hitherto, no, there were no Jaws or piranhas.

Nothing much to do except laze around the whole day in between meals and the siestas and, not to forget, the nature calls, which conveniently you can answer while swimming in the sea (talk about multitasking) and appreciate the different shades of blue.
Through lazy eyes...

.....and lazy thighs..

Smile smugly thinking, "Ahhh....this is the liifffeee...."
I remember walking by the beach with my daughter, clad in swim wear and feeling fly, imagining we were super models doing our beach shoot, when I bumped into the boy who guided us through our deep sea snorkling the other day. He was playing beach ball and as he came running to fetch the ball that rolled over to us, he smiled and ask, " Gi Berjalang gak?" . For two nano seconds, my pupils dilated, then quickly I realized, that I was in Terengganu, composed myself and answered , "bukan berJalang, gi berJalannnnn." I emphasized on the letter "N". He looked at me in confusion, turned around and resumed with his football game..("Jalang" in common malay language means "whore" where else "jalan" means "walk". People of terengganu adds in the letter "g" at the end of most of the words)
Of course you will know immediately those people lying around under the canopy aren't Mat Sallehs, because, unlike these Westerners, we Asians tend to look for shades to "sun bathe". Such wannabes..
Two words. Sun block.

Above: Lunch with a view

Below : Sunset in Redang. Hello...people...you are not paying attention!! There is no sunset in Redang, just sunrise...duuuhhh..
The invasion of the Banana Boat. But of course.I cannot comprehend what exactly people find fun on riding bananas. You eat bananas, not ride them!!! It drives me nuts just thinking about the amount of diesel spill it causes. It makes me want to split the goddamn banana!!!
Here's the result which I managed to capture:
Now, compare the above with the color where the banana boat did not pass...


Now, doesn't that piss you off?!!! Complain, I shaaaaallll..........


But it is difficult to stay pissed when you are in almost heaven. So we decided to have tea, like the Englishmen, except we ordered some capucino. Oh hell, if I want to pump in caffeine and stay up palpitating, might as well do it when the scenery is worth the keeping awake.

Below: Tea by the beach A word of reminder. When you come back to Kuala Trengganu, do not forget to be courteous, never mind the flooded WC up to ankle with pee water in the public toilets....See, follow me bowing my way as I walk pass the staircase...
I remember I wrote an sms to my friends before leaving for Redang.

"3 things not to bring when you go on holiday.
1. your phone
2. your watch
3. your parents...(mine almost drove me crazy even before leaving for Redang)

Below: And of course...just like the credit card, one should not leave home without it. (There are a few things that an Asian can't run from...their parents reiterating their roots...)


I love Redang. I will go back there time and time again. And of course , Love hurts. And just like love, you feel the hurt on your pocket when you get the credit card bill or see the balance in your account. Ah well, ces't la vie!!

There's Something about Samy...

Okay, normally I do not published political stuff in here, but this one is too good to pass off.
Click on youtube and Enjoy the new #1 top song in Malaysia...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbBHNRs-yRw

It's been playing in every Indian / Mamak stall

My Sweet Escapade

Hazidi and me were bitching about the world sometime during lunch and the topic of some Malaysians and English or American accent popped up. It's amazing how many conversations we've had with some people who could speak English with impeccable English or American accent. Even more amazing when you dig deeper in conversation with them, to discover that they caught the accent during their stay overseas. Flabagastedly amazing would be when you dig even further and found out that they were there for a good 6 months time. Wow, someone must come up with a medical term to describe a person who catches the English Accent in an acute state and not be able to shake it off after 6 months time.

There are also those who spoke as though at the time they are having that conversation with you, they are just physically there, and the rest of their gist are still overseas. London this, New York that, Europe this blah blah...It's fine I guess. But it irritates me if that person start talking about Malaysia in a condescending manner. To me, wherever you go, you must remember where you came from.

I have gone overseas and I love it there. But that does not mean I have stopped loving Malaysia. It's hard to forget the beautiful undiscovered places, the smiling faces as you try to get there, the culture that changes as you travel from south to north or from east to west, the food. Oh! The foood...mammmmaaa miaaaa.. Let me share with you, the beauty of Malaysia, well, part of it anyway.

Below:

Well, perhaps not smiling faces all the time.....

We pushed off towards Penang. My dotter wanted to put on the radio, but I insisted that we sang instead. I guess my idea of singing was not quite what she had in mind. I was singing John Denver's "Almost heaven, West Virginia....". She was not very amused judging from her comment, under her breath, "we're not even in America Ummi...can we switch on the radio pleeeeez." Kids!! They can be party poopers sometimes.....
Ah, well.........."Almost heaven, West Sentuuuul..........."

Below: a GreenPeace activist eating Whale Sandwich imported fresh from Japan...We had our breakfast picnic in Lata Kinjang, Perak.

Below : We made a quick stop at Kelly's Castle to have a chat with the late Kelly. Unfortunately, he only entertains when the sun sets. I wanted to tell him how absolutely gorgeous his castle is, even though it was never completed. A word of caution though, this is the kind of place kids like Hensel and Grettel are brought to be "taken care of", for it could be a deathtrap as some places on the first floor and the rooftop have no walls or barrier and one wrong move , you will spend the rest of your holiday in the hospital, or the mortuary. Below: A Dungeon?? We will never know as both my daughter and I never manage to muster our courage to go beyond this limit. It was dark and dodgy. I don't smell any urine, so I reckon the drug addicts did not fancy this place either. We call it the torture dungeon..... Hmm, maybe this is where the ISA detainees are sent...
Kelly's Castle as seen with the cloudy sky as the backdrop.
This could have been the dining room.

Can you appreciate the architecture? It's brilliant...Above: Afdlin Shauki should consider shooting a scene from this section of the castle.Perhaps a scene of REMPIT-THICKSKIN throwing his long hair down for the other mat rempits to climb up and do stunts with their kapchai.

Aaaaah.....Alas!! Love is not true love until you declare it in a form of hideous graffiti....... We resumed journey North bound and our eyes were feasted upon this sign by the road side....
Tummy grumbling, we followed our nose and found this , well, almost KFC...Unfortunately, the chicken bussiness must have been very competitive, (apparently, plagiarism does not sell...), as we found ourselves deprived from the opportunity to compare KLG to KFC. Wonder what KLG stands for?


All charged up in the patriotic mood already, we drank this 100% bumiputra strawberry juice. I will suggest the next UMNO general election to choose this drink to quench their thirst after the debates of rhetorics...We reached Penang nearly midnight, then went jungle trekking the next morning, all charged up with energy from the bumiputra strawberry drink.. We pushed of from Teluk Bahang, headed to Pantai Keranchut. Took us nearly 2 hours of slow trekking as we wanted to enjoy the jungle. That and the backpacks were heavy.
Below and Above: The unique & rare geographical phenomenon of a meromictic lake

The lake (or more a lagoon) is a dry mudbank during neap tides and during the dry season. A few freshwater streams feed the lagoon even in the driest of months.

For only a few months a year,(sometime in may-june) , the sea enters a small inlet and saltwater fills the lake. The saltwater that comes in meets the freshwater that flows in from a few mountain streams but the two do not fully mix homogenously like a normal brackish mangrove ecosystem. Instead the salt water (being denser) occupies the lower layer and the freshwater upper layers of the lake maintaining sort of a density gradient. This ecosystem is unique and I believe there are only a handful of such geographic phenomena in Asia.

And below, posing maut....

There are few things you can do in Pantai Keracut. There's playing frisbee,

Lie around like the ikan kering...

Check out other's bald pads...(or was that a leaf over a balding pad? Hmm..must ask Samy Velloo how he disguise his landing pad...)Look at the beautiful scenery in different angles, while cursing yourself for forgetting to bring along the camera....
Put on cool sunglasses and check out butts..
Or scratch your own butt...while checking others' butts.....Again...Lie around like the ikan kering....(I wanna be a dawg in maaah next life..)
Enjoy the scenery through sleepy eyes...

Lie around like the ikan kering...
..Jogging.........by the beach..

Then, lie around like the ikan kering ... Until the sun embraces the horizon again...........

You could almost hear the sound of the sun brushing against the ocean yonder, as it settles itself behind the horizon.

And suddenly, the world turned almost like gold......


Slept and woke up the next morning to this......... rolling around in our sleeping bags...

Meet my camera man, or gal...You can hire a camel for 6 dirhams for one hour to ride around in Pantai Kerancut.. Or perhaps....not....

A word of caution. Do not leave your possessions unattended, there are thieves amongst us. In our case, some of our food disappeared. Thank god for the emergency maggee supply.

Below: We finally solved the mystery of the dissapearing roti Gardenia, when we spotted the culprits.........UmNO (United monyet National Organization) in a small assembly, sharing the loot for the day.....

Alas....it was time to get back to civilization..we took a boat back to Teluk Bahang. We decided that the maggee wasn't going to give us the energy boost needed to trek back..

Next stop, formerly known as Maxwell Hill, we spent a couple of days in Bukit Larut. (Dewa's song titled 'Larut' kept playing in my head everytime I mention Bukit Larut. Hmm...). We did some jungle trekking, having replenished our energy from non maggee sources. These pictures were taken on the way up to the Telecomunication Tower at the peak of some hill

This was what made all that screaming muscles worth it..

Energizing our power at the power stationTake no notice of the leech and look instead at my gorgeous dirt cheap priced Gortex boots I got from Blackburn some 10 years ago.....They're great only if water do not get into the boots...

Sucker!! I waited 10minutes for the little fella to get satiated, appetite bigger than that of a corrupted politician. Finally, impatient is after all my virtue, I took one of the guard's ciggarette and burn it's butt. If fell down and went off dragging it's big fat ass full of my blood along with it...

Below: pine wood near our little motel.

They grow turlips for Valentine's day. That reminds me of a riddle.
"What is better than a rose on the piano?"

"Tulips on an organ".....okay..not funny..moving aloooooong.....

There we were, drunk on fresh air and endorphine... With Dewa's "Larut" still playing in our minds...

Sunset seen from up above.......

On the way back to KL, we made a pit stop at Kuala Kangsar. This is Sungai Kuala Kangsar, a place full of eateries dated all the way back when the MCKK boys called it New York. Hmm...I don't see any similarities, not even via lateral thinking. Then again, it is difficult to catch up with intelligent, eccentric MCKK bunch...

Is there a point to this sign board?

Kuala Kangsar river.

Indahnya bumi kita ini,

Warisaaaan berkurun lamanyaaaaaaa.......................

A theme from GPMS rang through the air in between my ears........just as I recall those good old school years. How young and innocent and naive we all were... (I was talking about the air between the ears when I had joined GPMS..ah well, life is a journey, we learn and become wise as we go along....).

One thing I hate about holidays, is that, the euphoria does not last long, especially when there are signs from heaven to remind you that the good times are over..

Well, there are many more that I would like to post but adding images to the blog may take forever...My next trip will be to Redang Island.....dang..I wish I could afford underwater camera...My daughter suggested i wrap our camera in cling wrap or something like that. If in the next blogs, you don't see any more pictures being posted, you'll know why the underwater camera costs so much..