Almost Heaven, except heaven is free

I thought I had died and gone to heaven. It was just as I had left it, seven years ago. Well, not exactly,how I left it, for starters, there was no banana boat passing by the last time I was there, but you get the picture. I felt breathless, as I always do the moment my eyes were feasted upon it's beauty and as my foot took the first plunge onto it's land and felt it's white soft sand caressing my feet. My lungs embraced the salty clean air with pleasure, brought by cool gentle breeze blowing through my hair, just like they almost always do in the Bollywood movies when the leading woman makes her debut into the scene. If it was not for my sepet eyes, I swear for a brief moment, I felt like Ashwaryia Rai. Suddenly, it became clear to me, I am home...

For those of you who have not been to Redang Island, then you have not seen a preview to Almost Heaven, Malaysian version of course. (That's a nuance way of saying,"why the fuck aren't you there yet?!!!"). It is like being in love. When you've experienced one of the best sanctuary, you know you cannot do without it and anything else won't do. You keep going back, wanting for more.
Honestly, swimming in Redang, I was not thinking of going back home, until I was reminded with stabbing cruelty by my common sense that I need to go back and work to be able afford the holiday. Damn common sense!!!
Hmm...I wonder if my company accepts temporary insanity as reason for absence from work. The sad part about being a doctor, is that , you cannot sign your own MC. Damn the system!!

Below: All that water going through my orifices, awakened the artist in me....what little amount of extra salt can do to the brains...Besides, being buried in the sand with the imaginary sand boob size slapped onto the chest is a boring cliche...


Below: A view from our lazy chair at Coral Redang...


With the lazy flers lying around in it..Although I came, I was told, just as the monsoon had begun to leave, the sea, was restless, yet was still perfect for dipping and swimming. I remember though, the last time I was there, was in the month of August. The water was as still as those ordered at posh restaurants and even at chest water level, you could still identify the fungus patch on your foot if there was no Nemo passing by to obscure your view. We snorkeled just by the beach. Come to think of it, you don't really need to snorkel as the water was clear (unless you have visual impairment and forgot your glasses) and calm, and the fishes came to us. Judging by all intact digits hitherto, no, there were no Jaws or piranhas.

Nothing much to do except laze around the whole day in between meals and the siestas and, not to forget, the nature calls, which conveniently you can answer while swimming in the sea (talk about multitasking) and appreciate the different shades of blue.
Through lazy eyes...

.....and lazy thighs..

Smile smugly thinking, "Ahhh....this is the liifffeee...."
I remember walking by the beach with my daughter, clad in swim wear and feeling fly, imagining we were super models doing our beach shoot, when I bumped into the boy who guided us through our deep sea snorkling the other day. He was playing beach ball and as he came running to fetch the ball that rolled over to us, he smiled and ask, " Gi Berjalang gak?" . For two nano seconds, my pupils dilated, then quickly I realized, that I was in Terengganu, composed myself and answered , "bukan berJalang, gi berJalannnnn." I emphasized on the letter "N". He looked at me in confusion, turned around and resumed with his football game..("Jalang" in common malay language means "whore" where else "jalan" means "walk". People of terengganu adds in the letter "g" at the end of most of the words)
Of course you will know immediately those people lying around under the canopy aren't Mat Sallehs, because, unlike these Westerners, we Asians tend to look for shades to "sun bathe". Such wannabes..
Two words. Sun block.

Above: Lunch with a view

Below : Sunset in Redang. Hello...people...you are not paying attention!! There is no sunset in Redang, just sunrise...duuuhhh..
The invasion of the Banana Boat. But of course.I cannot comprehend what exactly people find fun on riding bananas. You eat bananas, not ride them!!! It drives me nuts just thinking about the amount of diesel spill it causes. It makes me want to split the goddamn banana!!!
Here's the result which I managed to capture:
Now, compare the above with the color where the banana boat did not pass...


Now, doesn't that piss you off?!!! Complain, I shaaaaallll..........


But it is difficult to stay pissed when you are in almost heaven. So we decided to have tea, like the Englishmen, except we ordered some capucino. Oh hell, if I want to pump in caffeine and stay up palpitating, might as well do it when the scenery is worth the keeping awake.

Below: Tea by the beach A word of reminder. When you come back to Kuala Trengganu, do not forget to be courteous, never mind the flooded WC up to ankle with pee water in the public toilets....See, follow me bowing my way as I walk pass the staircase...
I remember I wrote an sms to my friends before leaving for Redang.

"3 things not to bring when you go on holiday.
1. your phone
2. your watch
3. your parents...(mine almost drove me crazy even before leaving for Redang)

Below: And of course...just like the credit card, one should not leave home without it. (There are a few things that an Asian can't run from...their parents reiterating their roots...)


I love Redang. I will go back there time and time again. And of course , Love hurts. And just like love, you feel the hurt on your pocket when you get the credit card bill or see the balance in your account. Ah well, ces't la vie!!