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Words of Wisdom ...or so it seems...


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Monday 26 July 2010

More stuff that makes us go, "WTFish"...

Okay. Some of my readers have e-mailed me, wondering when am I going to write about the banning of the Red Devils. Well, to be honest with you, I am quite comfortable ignoring those imbecilic comments made by the people who claim that they represent Islam. For starters, we have that, well, I call it "Breastfeeding for brotherhood" program. No, nothing like that good ol' free Milo drinks distribution during sports day. At least we don't have to suckle the Milo out of the other school children's' tiny breasts just to make them our "milky-sibling".

Then there was that Boobquake (catch it on the video below or for FB users, click HERE) . Come to think of it, the experiment to disprove it was more interesting actually. And that is why I always say that flat chested women are blessed in many ways than they realized ....less breasts, less risk for breast cancer. Less breast, less contribution to the Richter scale...



An observant chap I know from FB pointed out, perhaps the ulama' should not wear anything with buttons sewn on their attires, since there are cross stitchs holding those buttons up. I totally agree, since that may risk the Muslims listening to their sermon's Iman to falter while their eyes are feasted upon those buttons. As for women, I think all women, infidels and non infidels should just wear valcrow zap ons to substitute those dangerous buttons. Feel like bunking work that day, just skype each other and arrange for a gathering where all women zap off their shirts (made easy by the not using button situation) simultaneously showing off our boobs and walla...earthquake happens. Cool excuse to not go to work. At least it's a more original excuse than the cliched traffic jam ...


Let me just make this short and simple.


THIS IS HARAM


THIS IS ALSO HARAM:


Incidental finding while Googling : I think I may have found the forbidden fruit that Adam nibbled and got us all into this mess in the first place....



Okay then. Why are symbols of other religions should be shunned? These are some excerpts from the newspapers, do read them :

“It will erode our belief in Islam. There is no reason why we as Muslims should wear such jerseys, either for sports or fashion reasons,” said Nooh, an adviser to the Johor religious council.

So fragile is our belief towards Islam that merely the picture of a cross or the devil, in which I find ironic since no one has actually seen the devil to know how it looks like, can erode it. Of course they will know at what level the devil will be able to take us on. I mean, it's their job to strengthen our Iman - so the people responsible in making sure our Iman is strong, if not intact will know if they've done their job well. Obviously some of them may need optional retirement, judging by the low level of threshold of our iman..since the mere sight of Red Devils and Crosses have potential of turning us into infidels.(ooo.....some people are not getting year end bonus this year ). It's like telling us that looking at Garfield will make us fat and lazy.

In fact, I think the Christians should stop their good work in preaching in order to convert people into Christians...just walk out in rampant and show the Muslims the Cross and immediately our Iman will falter and we will convert into Christians in no time. That was what probably happened with the Malays in Singapore maybe?

Another leading ulama, Perak Mufti Tan Sri Harussani Zakaria, agreed that devils should be shunned, not celebrated..

Truth be told, actually, it's the Manchester United team, wait, the whole England team who should be shunned for their lame performance last FIFA worldcup...it is Paul the Sotong that needs to be celebrated for the most consistent and reliable performance..Oh but wait, they banned poor Paul too...I suppose Paul needs a simple process of circumcision in order to make him halal again...

Oh, and here's the champion of them all:

“This is very dangerous. As a Muslim, we should not worship the symbols of other religions or the devils,” said Datuk Nooh Gadot, the former mufti of Johor".

He's absolutely right, we should just stick to worshiping our own symbol of Islam. This one for example;


My 13 year old niece saw the picture of "Hajaral Aswad", or "The Black Stone ".(pic above) head cocked to one side and said, "Why...that looks like a....."...oh well, you look at it and tell me what it looks like.....

Hajaral Aswad, to enlighten those who have not a single clue of what it is, is the cornerstone of the Ka'aba where people push and shove each other in order to kiss it, 7 times any time during the circumambulation of the Ka'aba. Here, take a closer look again...medical students studying Anatomy should not get this wrong by the way....

Now, if oral sex is haram, then wouldn't kissing this be SYMBOLICALLY incorrect? So please, let's not talk about symbols shall we?

Oh don't worry about it....They won't come after my head. After all, Islam is not a violent religion right?




Read more:

‘Don’t wear devil jerseys’ http://www.nst.com.my/nst/articles/2010072201113820100722011138/Article/#ixzz0umypZlSX

- Exorcising-devil-malaysian-way.html
- Faulting-footie-on-faith

7 comments:

art harun said...

Manchester United fans, do not fret.

I have submitted an application for a halal certificate. Soon, this football club would be halal certified. Problem solved.

See. I told you. In Malaysia there is a solution to everything.

All the t-junctions will soon be halal certified too. Or else they would have to be converted to roundabouts.

Better do that fast. Because I have to pass like 8 t-junctions on my way to work everyday. I don't want to lose my aqiqah...eh..aqidah (haiyah, why lah must they sound so similar).

Kris said...

This is so laughable. The fear that the clerics have that ordinary folk would be so easily and simplistically swayed. There's an old saying that one colours everyone by their own brush, so perhaps the reason here is that the muftis themselves have so little faith...

Hazriq said...

ROFLOL !!! Why indeed, do we need to kiss the stone? I can never get anyone to give me a satisfactory answer so far.

Anonymous said...

Saudari tidak sepatutnya menjadikan ugama suatu bahan ketawa, terutamanya menjatuhkan martabat kaum seugama sendiri.

PahNur said...

En Anon,

memang tak sepatutnya saya buat lawak mengenai ugama saya sendiri, tapi, auta-rity pemegang ugama Islam saya pun tak sepatutnya buat lawak membodohkan saya beserta sahabat sahabat seugama. Kita ikut kepimpinan melalui tauladan lah. Ulama' buat lawak tentang ugama sendiri, saya tumpang sekaki lah buat lawak. Nak menangis sedih, ayaq mata dah habih, dah tak larat nak nangis sedih tengok Islam diperbodohkan oleh ulama' sendiri, jadi, saya buat lawak lah.

Lagipun, siapa lah saya ni, nak bandingkan dengan ulama' ulama' yang ternama tu. Kalau depa boleh buat lawak bodooo, tambah saya sorang lagi yang buat lawak sama bodoo..tak de banyak beza pun, kan kan kan en anon?

PahNur said...

@Art, you pass T junction, loose aqidah, by the time you pass through the cross junction, you will be an INFIDEL!!!!

@Kris, zzzzziiiiinnngggggg!!! You hit jack pot...but never fear,infidels can play jack pot and can gamble with money....we muslims cannot gamble with money, we can just gamble with people's lives....that one halal no problem.

Hazriq,dude, i too wonder...i thought syurga is bawah tapak kaki ibu....i think kissing that would be more logical....hmm....

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