Tips for the obese.....

Are you fat and are tired of being one? Are you tired of being ridiculed by the people around you because you are obese? Are you tired of listening to jokes like, " He's so fat, he cannot even see his own erection"?

On personal note, I have nothing against fat people, nor do I find joy in making fun of them (only if I'm trying to get my point across do I make an exemption). In fact I've dated a few of them and you know what, underneath those layers of goodness, there is more goodness inside. And they are so very hug-able and tender both outside and inside.

My problem with fat people is purely medical. I nag at them about their obesity every time they visit me for consultation. I see them struggling just trying to loose all that weight because it is not easy, I can tell you that.

Here are some of the problems obese people face:

Actually, this can be nature's way of making them not gain too much of what they normally gain, if they can reach for more food...


They get wet....

But cannot get off........
This happens to not only the obese by the way....


They spook their pets.....


And sometimes can't find them....
So why is it so difficult for obese people to loose all that weight?? Casting aside medical reasons for obesity, through experience, Garfield have managed to come up with a good and truthful answer;


Sometimes, they settle for staying in denial....

Not to mention lame excuses.....

So I'm going to post a few tips on how to loose weight.

But first and foremost, please understand one thing. LOOSING WEIGHT IS NOT ABOUT TEMPORARY LIFESTYLE CHANGE. IT'S TO CHANGE YOUR LIVES FOREVER, GET IT? FOREVER.... unless and unless you get this, don't bother wasting your time because just like quitting smoking, one can only quit if one have the will to quit and the will power to power him through. Loosing weight is not about starving oneself so that she can fit into that dress she wants to wear to that wedding next month. It's about trading your sedentary lifestyle with that of a healthy and balanced one forever.

Here's a couple of tips, off the top of my mind....(bear in mind, you HAVE to exercise and start with brisk walking or swimming. Do not start with something that may cause you injury, like badminton or even jogging. Injury means rest hence gain weight . It's a vicious cycle..Once you loose a some weight, then go ahead. P.S. careful with the increased appetite after swimming)

1. Do not skip meals...you will lower your metabolic rate by doing so. The body sees the starvation as the coming of shortage of food supply, and so it automatically decreases your metabolic rate. So the next time you eat, the calories be fully kept in preparation of the anticipated starvation state to come. Keeping food in the body means formation of fat.

2. To make yourself full, dip some wholemeal bread into good ol' olive oil and eat it before you eat your actual meal. This way, you will be full of the goodness of wholemeal bread and olive oil, and you still get to eat what you like, but not that much, since you're already full of those bread and olive oil.

3. Most of the diet are basically based on "Glycemic Index". So I would recommend you to understand this concept of eating. You can actually get to cheat on food if you understand what and when to eat with what combination of food.

4. Park your car far away so that you are forced to walk.

5. Drink lots of cold water - unlike what our "orang tua tua kata". You see, it is nature's law that when two objects of different temperature comes into contact, the heat will travel from the higher temperature to the lower, until both becomes of same temperature. So when we drink cold water, the body will automatically try to warm this water up, and it does that by burning calories. Besides, cold water in bulks is also serves as an appetite suppressant

6. Fidget : dance when you have the chance, when no one's looking. I dance all the time when I'm in the elevator...until I found out a month later, that that elevator have a hidden camera installed..well, that's another story...

7. Walk to get your food at lunch time. Then drink lots of water to quench the thirst from all that walking before eating.

8. Just stick to cold water.

9. Make love not war. Make lots of love, you'll burn the calories and get those good hormones out. Err..if you're a Muslim, and not married...try to not get caught ...it's not healthy staying in jail.

10. Eat dinner as early as possible. I eat mine sometime around 6pm and latest 7.30pm.

11. Reward yourself from time to time with a nice meal you crave for, but make sure you exercise off the calories.

12. If all else fails, seek professional help. The nagging we provide is enough to increase your stomach acid content and make you purge out your misery....