Words of Wisdom ...or so it seems...


Tuesday, 19 April 2011

Safest Sex is No Sex....especially for mosquitoes

You know how people like to say things like, "People who don't know how to use the public toilet should not be allowed to breed" ? You and I know that toilets in Malaysia not only is a perennial, but also a peri-anal problem, so not allowing these species to breed sounds quite logical. Scientists however, have not come up with ways to covertly make this happen to humans without them volunteering...yet... but the same cannot be said to the mosquito species.

Humans may suffer from narcissism and should be renamed megalomaniac-sapiens, claiming that we are the superior species ever to walk on the surface of the earth, but mosquitoes have long proven that they are more superior in a sense that they are more potent than our weapon of mass destruction, (which i reckon how Bush is passing his retirement time looking for) in killing the human species and not softly too. Bearing detrimental diseases such as dengue, yellow fever and malaria, humans have been terminated by the dozens of hundreds...

Just like the Irish and Bhai jokes, we make jokes pertaining to these blood suckers. Here's one:

"What is the difference between a mosquito with a briefcase and a lawyer? Answer: the briefcase".

So okay, that one was more for the lawyers, but you get what i mean. On hindsight, we doctors are blood suckers too. We draw blood from patients and the actual blood sucking takes place when we start charging.

But make no mistake about it, these species that we deem pests can take away our loved ones.

Here's a short video on mosquito, kind of an introduction:

( )

Science have moved on beyond mosquito coils, Baygon sprays and mosquito netting etc. Science have managed to come up with alternative methods to somehow curb mosquitoes from breeding.
Yes, while the Muslims are busy using our pseudo-creativity on ways to terminate human beings via orthodox methods used in stone ages, for example stoning adulterers to death (well, can't blame them for the lack of creativity to think outside the box...there were ample stones...just sitting there begging to be disposed..... ), the infidels are blessed with the freedom from mental curbing and have the liberty to actually use the god gifted brains to research on more useful things like how to kill mosquitoes who kill humans. Now, if THAT is not HUMANity, tell me what else is.

Basically amongst the ongoing experiments are :

1. Scientist looking for methods to intercept mosquito's' foreplay. How rude is that?

Do you know that mosquitoes make music to a specific synchronized note as part of their foreplay? I didn't know either. These mosquitoes literally make music with their wings, in synchrony to that of their sexual partners , a way for them asking, "Hey baybee, your place or mine? And I thought they were just being annoying. Perhaps the Singaporean government may benefit from observing the mosquitoes sexual habits and learn how to utilize music as part of their governmental initiative to increase their population. Something else noteworthy - the next time you hear your dog howling for no apparent reason, it's probably because they hear the musical foreplay of the sound of mosquitoes trying to bunk each other, and got horny too.

Also, don't forget to remember that when you break the mosquito's wings, you're actually depriving it of sex too. That is probably why there is a hadith on breaking both wings of insects when it falls into the water, to okay the drinking whilst the insect with both broken wings is still within it. This is to not just ensure, but double ensure that we are drinking pure/suci (from any form of sexual activities) water. Otherwise, I cannot for the life of me think of any other sound reason for this habit. I also cannot help but wonder how the tone deaf mosquitoes have sex though..questions...questions. Anyway, here's a video on this phenomenal event.

....or you can read it in detail from the Science Daily

So now, scientists are looking for ways to somehow de-synchronize the harmony of the mating tune, to what we Malaysians call, "potong steam". Well, I've always said that "The safest sex is no sex. That is why sex after marriage is safe, because the couple hardly have sex after marriage", but of course this is but another topic that does not concern the mosquitoes.

This experiment is on going. I can imagine the scientists working on how to throw off these mosquitoes' wing music, albeit I have a suggestion...THIS VIDEO may help these scientist? about loony tunes eh... I won't be surprised if these male mosquitoes may even join the monastery after listening to this particular video :-)

You see, the ulama wasn't joking when they say music can lead to sex ergo the haram fartwa...(or was it dancing can lead to sex?)... hmm...P. Ramlee may be singing "Getaran Jiwa", but these ulamas have long suspected (or maybe through their personal experience), that some anatomical parts of the humans may be vibrating harmoniously as they set into foreplay without intention, when they hear saaaaay...Lady Gaga sing "Alejandro".

Anyway, here are some excerpts from the article that I'd like to comment on:

"Interestingly, the mosquitoes adjust the harmonic resonance of their thoracic box to produce a harmonic frequency that converges at a frequency that is the females' third harmonic (three times her fundamental frequency) and the males' second harmonic (two times his fundamental frequency). The study also is the first to definitively show that contrary to previous thought, female mosquitoes are not deaf."

Hello!! How could the earlier scientists even thought that it was the female mosquitoes that were deaf!!! I think it's the male in ALL species that have listening problems!!

"By studying these flight tone signals, we may be able to determine what kind of information males and females consider important when choosing a mate," said co-first author Lauren Cator, a Cornell graduate student who works with Harrington. "This will allow us to release 'sexy' transgenic or sterilized males that will be able to successfully compete with wild populations."

.... well, at least we know that within the mosquito world, size does not seem to matter....

To conclude, since Jakim, Jais dan kawasan kawasan yang sewaktu dengannya have almost always been intrigued by sex, I suggest that instead of wasting tax payers' money hounding the couples on Valentine's Day, why not spend some money studying sex amongst mosquitoes. Who knows, someday they may well live up to their pay by finally serving humanity by doing what they best do, prohibiting sex that has no certification.

2. Scientist who have already established a method to encourage female mosquitoes to have sex with sterile (genetically modified) mosquitoes instead of the fertile wild male mosquitoes. In fact thousands of GM (genetically modified...) mosquitoes were released somewhere in Grand Caymen Islands somewhere in the Caribbean (sterile sex in the Caribbeans..and a smoke afterwords) and they have managed to decrease the Aedes Aegypti population by 80%. Hmm...remind me why this reminds me of Singapore again? You can read it the article in April issue of Scientific American titled Outsmarting Dengue Fever.

Using Biological Control, Scott O'Neill of University of Queensland and his colleagues have been trying to curb the breeding of dengue by genetically modifying male Aedes mosquitoes making them sterile. (and by sterile, I do not mean dipping these male mosquitoes into a bowl of spirit, although if by "spirit" we mean tapai-like substances, then perhaps I have just found a more interesting experiment on mosquitoes which I would like to call "Mojito-ed Mosquito"). The video below may be how the experiment would go.

And that is why they are the scientists and I am not.

An excerpt from "Outsmarting Dengue Fever" :

"In December, British biotechnology company Oxitec released 6000 genetically modified male mosquitoes in Malaysia to the alarm of some groups that expressed concern about the possible effects of GM insects on humans and ecosystems. Results are not available yet"

Finally, Malaysia gets to be mention in an international magazine pertaining to sexual issues that is not embarrassing it's citizens. Thank god mosquitoes don't use mattresses, or Omega watches not to mention carrying around with them the registration cards. The "groups expressing concern about the effects of GM insects on humans and ecosystems" would probably be amongst a few; Perkasa, Hindraf , BN, and probably PAS (with it's 'propagating forth to Islamize the world via hereditary program ergo causing ecosystem imbalance ) only because they probably don't appreciate other species pissing on their trees.

In Malaysia, the results for the same experiment they did in the Caribbean is pending though. Being a Malaysian and cannot help but be infected by irony and pessimism. I suspect the cause of delay may be confusion amongst the scientists as they may have yielded the right results although not up to expectations, but through a process not clearly understood, leaving the scientists bewildered ergo the delay in announcing the results. This is because the tendency of male of any species, to turn bisexual in Malaysia is higher, especially if he is a politician and when the time is close to any form of election. So instead of having sex with the untampered female Aedes Aegypti, these GM (genetically modified) male species would probably turn bisexual and also have sex amongst themselves if not with the "wild male" species who before their encounter with these GM, never knew that they were bisexuals/gays, depriving the female mosquitoes of frequency of sex, but not decreasing chances in pregnancy each time they have sex. In short, these female species would be left to wonder "wtf?"...Love Hurts I guess..

Of coz there are ecological balancing issues that need to be studied and addressed when we introduce a genetically tampered species into the ecosystem or when we cause extinction of certain species. Funny how this discussion do not arise when the humans kill our own species in the name of God, genetic material which was believed to be more superior than the rest, race , political ideology etc. Or funny when we humans breed and breed and breed into the ecosystem in order to take advantage of democracy. Aren't these disrupting the ecosystem? We only care for our species when they are dead,not so much when they are alive, how ironic is that?

Well, for those who fear for the ecosystem, or even the extinction of species, here's one of my favorite videos depicting the wisdom of George Carlin....I can't never get bored listening to his stand up comedies over and over...


Jahamy said...

George Carlin is one my top favourites! Whacked everyone to his last days!

hazriq said...