Words of Wisdom ...or so it seems...


Tuesday, 19 August 2008

It's a bird, it's a's....SuperDrivers!!!

Just like the Superheroes who change their personalities the moment they jump into their costumes, the same happens the moment a Malaysian enters his car and drive. Unlike the Superheroes who seem to like wearing their underwear over their trousers, for some apparent reason, most Malaysian drivers turn into monsters, even when they don't show off their underwear. Perhaps someone should conduct an experiment and make mandatory, for Malaysian drivers to wear their underwear over their pants, so that perhaps their personality turn into that of Superheroes instead. Imagine when the car indicator buzzes the moment one wears his underwear inside,just after he managed to silence the indicator buzz for the seat belt.

Why do we do that? Is it because we feel that we are loosing something by say, just simply giving way to another car? What can one loose just by giving way? Honestly, one extra car ahead of you is not going to make any big difference if you are already late for work. Why are you late for work anyway? Well, that is a separate issue I guess. It's kind of difficult not be getting up late after a night of intense sex, I suppose, one can't really plan or time that one.

What is it about us? Do we not feel worried that what we practice today on the road may cause us danger in the future, when we are old, when we can't decide, which is more strenueos, driving a car or driving your partner(or partners for Malay men) nuts (interesting note for polygamy practitioners, imagine 4old women driving you nuts when your nuts are shriveled). We may be the ones responsible for creating a new generation of crazy, mentally impaired drivers. Wait, let me rephrase that, second stage mentally impaired). You think your kids are not observing how you drive? And if you think they follow what you say rather than what you do,hey I've got news for you, kids have selective hearing.

I give you an example. Tailgating. These people must really have a lot of free time on their hands. Imagine if the guy in front actually have more leisure time than the person who tailgates, and decided to have fun and give an emergency break just to piss you off. There is no court of law that will find you not in the wrong (unless you are involved in politics and happen to oppose the Barisan National, then it may look and sound like your car, but is not. Only in Malaysia folks..). As far as the law is concerned (with the exception to certain cronies who seem more immuned than the diplomats), even if the guy in front decided to release his fart, lift his buttocks and by doing so, release his foot from the accelerator, and the sudden drop of speed may cause the person behind to bang from behind,( not in an "Anwar-ised" sense of it), you better make sure you are fully covered by insurance and that you have your driver's license with you, and oh, you road tax is alive. Or, of course, you belong to the crony in power.

So, what is the point these tailgators trying to make? Intimidate the front drivers? Hah...try it on me and see if it works. Don't mess with bored doctors. We've got the time to fuck irresponsible drivers senseless because we can't do it any other time.Have you read about doctors shooting people...I rest my case. Normally I would purposefully drop my speed at least 30km/hr from the time of tailgating. Then off and on, (this you require skills, don't try it otherwise) give a well timed brake shock, just enough to drop the tailgators' IQ further points, yet not sufficient to get my car Anwarised. If the sudden braking does not work, I'd be contented to go 40km/hr all the way to normally a toll, where by most of the time I'd end up ahead because I use a Smart Tag, and the tailgators, not surprisingly go and queue up at the cash toll counters. That is when I'd turn around and look the driver and flash my Smart Tag and a smug smile. Honestly, just at that kind of moment, I felt that they should rename the Smart Tag "SMUG Tag".

Then there these people who, flash their headlights telling the car in front to move aside for them. And it's not like there are no cars ahead of this car that was getting highlighted. That is when I wish that my car has this sign that can pop out to say,"Yes dear, we are all in a hurry too". These light flashers reminded me of those delusional singers who auditioned in the American Idol. They actually think they are special. I couldn't even be bothered if they are really. If it is not for those skin tight pants traffic police with dangerous looking shades,(what is it with men with authorities and tights) ushering drivers to make way for some of the assholes we elected,(or not), not to mention pay tax for their wages to get to parliament where they make the dumb decisions, I would have blocked their cars on purpose so that whatever stupid decisions they make in parliament, would be delayed so that the rakyat can enjoy some bliss time before whatever it is they decide in session materializes.

Why do we change our personalities the moment we grab hold of the wheel? Could it be the cheap paint that seeps into our brains, the part responsible for characters? Have we turned into a society that feels pinched whenever we give? Or worse, refuse to even give. Why..why..I am drowning in an abyss of bewilderment. At which point did we take the wrong turn and decided to turn into these monsters? More importantly, how can we make everyone realize this phenomena is detrimental to us as society because without realizing, there will be no room for improvement. You cannot change if you don't feel that you don't have any reason to change. I can't see any immediate solutions just yet, so I guess I'll stick to that wearing the underwear over the pants suggestion. What are your suggestions?


azura sha said...

reason for 2 or more lanes
left : slow
right : faster than left

pah nur said...

Thank you azura...
2-5 lanes and we all meet in a bottle next and kill each other to go through that one bottle neck lane!!
Only in Malaysia folks!!