My Biggest Occupational Hazard

I love my job. I love everything about it. Well,almost everything. I don't quite like the bosses. Most of them anyway.(yes, I am at the bottom of the food chain obviously). Then again, who does. Even the office Ass Lickers don't like the owner of the Ass they kiss religiously everyday at work in pursue of climbing the corporate ladder. The bosses are not meant to be liked. It's their job description. In fact, sometimes,they are even hated. Why do you think the pay is huge? It is to compensate for the emotional damage, of the depression of knowing that no one likes them at the workplace, even though the employees seem extremely polite and with constant smiley faces.

They probably had to fill this form during job application that requires answering questions like:

1. How many times in a year do you find your car mysteriously malfunctioning?
(This question is non applicable to the Proton cars)

2. Have any attempt in severing your car be made yet, and if so, please state the frequency.

3. Any missed, could have been accidents while walking out to get lunch lately?

4. How many times in a year do you suffer from diarrhea, after attending company functions?

4. Have you gotten any express delivery of parcel that contain voodoo dolls in the past 5 years? If so, what are the sizes and quantity of needles used.

5. Have you experienced this uncontrollable farting attack when coming into contact with your chair in the workstation? Have you ever checked if the office petty cash had been spent buying garlic?

7. Have you gotten any spiteful letters , or brochures of the movie "Jangan Pandang Belakang" or death threats throughout your career and if so, please state the frequency.

8. Have you ever experienced chest pains at work, and if so, was there any delay in turn up of the ambulance coming to your rescue?

Gosh.. when I struck lottery, and win big, I will buy the company and become the boss. First, I've got to make a habit of buying lottery. If only I have ample time for that.....sigh...talk about occupational hazard...