Hari Raya is coming. "YAAY!!!" would be my respond, say, 35years ago. Now, I'd sound like that character in Winnie the Pooh, Eiyor the donkey, I believe, and say, "ooooh deaaaaar...Hari Raya is coming. Oh deaaaaaar." Why shouldn't I sound suicidal? Back then I looked forward to getting hari raya money, now, I have to spend money to make Hari Raya happen. It gives the true meaning to "what goes around comes around" , except it works on reverse mode whereby I get the money first, when I was pre puberty, now, I have to spend later in life.
A few thoughts crossed my mind, as it does every year.
First, will I survive this year's Puasa month to actually live to see Hari Raya?
( I am 5'5", weighs 50kgs, before pooping. I have all the necessary organs my mama gave me to swoosh my toosh on the catwalk but may look like my TB patient after 1 week of diarrhea. For those of you who actually know how I look like, you definitely know what I mean. Oh, and sorry if I have broken some hearts, if I may take this opportunity to apologise..OH BEHAAAAAVE BAYBEEE....)
Secondly, will it finally happen this year? Will we finally be able to see the ellusive "anak bulan syawal"? I would like to hear, at least once, before I leave this world for good the announcement that goes, " Setelah dipersetujui, penyimpan mohor besar Raja Raja telah melihat anak bulan syawal pada sekian sekian tarikh. Oleh itu, adalah diishtiharkan, bahawasanya, hari raya puasa tahun ini, jatuh pada hari esok, yakni sekian sekian haribulan...."
Frankly, I have my doubts. No one will actually get to see the anak bulan syawal. Why? For three reasons actually;
1. The method used to determine Eidul Fitri is practiced by the Arab nation, whereby, they have not much rain in a year. This is due to the lack of clouds and therefore, if they are really the type to sit out and look at the sky, instead of their four wives' whatever, they could see the aliens, climbing into their spaceship, just before boarding from their galaxy.
In Malaysia, on the contrary, even though our highways are built as if it rained once in a year, we get rain almost every other day. That means we have clouds every other day. So, at the end of the day, the ahli falaq would have more fun imagining what forms can the clouds take, rather than trying to catch a glimpse of the moon.
2. The gadgets and apparatus used to perform this ritual of locating the anak bulan syawal are those made before masehi or before christ, or whichever that came earlier. When I was a kid, I often imagine that the Penyimpan Mohor Besar Raja Raja do nothing except "simpan" the Mohor Besar, probably take it out once a week and give it a good buff or two. Perhaps they are so busy with the task, that they haven't had sufficient time to upgrade the apparatus. Saving tax payer's money? Well, I guess if the government is so concerned about that, then perhaps they should just abolish the whole trip to go look for the anak bulan syawal in the first place and settle for Lunar Calculations.
3. The people at the gazing end of the apparatus, are probably as ancient as the apparatus itself.
So there you go. Three reason why we will not be able to view the anak bulan syawal this year, again, and probably never will. So folks, make sure you don't cook your ketupat one day earlier, because you hear rumours that it's going to be different this year.
Selamat Berpuasa everyone. There goes my extra 2kilos I worked hard to gain the whole year through.....
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