Don't forget to forget....

I found this very interesting article on how to erase or alter memories. I guess a couple of scientist got bored on their day off and saw a rat running around in their unkept house or something, and decided to become productive in handling the rat problem. That's what I would call, "you don't get mad, just get even".

Here, read this:

ERASE OR ALTER THE HUMAN MEMORIES

After reading this article, apart from feeling deeply sorry for the rat that was experimented on, and having this weird idea that what if humans are God's experiment, I allowed the more pleasant imaginations seep into my imaginary center.....you know, the one that the autarities and the religionists try extremely hard to kill......apart from killing thinking itself, but that is of course another story.

A thought crossed my crooked mind. Wouldn't it be superb if we could instead come up with a gadget that erases one's credit account, poof! just like that. With this ability to erase one's memory, however, the credit account will still be there but, I wonder if we could claim that the operation done to erase the memory of the trauma of running down a Mat Rempit with our car and got away with pleading temporary insanity, had caused a side effect of memory loss in the accounts department of the brain, hence the erased memory of ever using the credit card. We can sue the surgeon and use the money to finally pay off the credit card...Not a bad thought eh?

Or a gadget that can totally erase the person that causes mental trauma, our bosses for instance. Oh but of course they already have human erasers!! They are also known as the "hit man", like the one that erased JFK, Malcolm X etc...

Unfortunately, we have to just settle with chemicals that can erase our memory of the trauma, not erase the traumatizer....

Well, I guess that's better than nothing. Apart from mental trauma such as being raped, be it female or male or the gender confused, memories of war, or the memories of being trapped in an elevator for a couple of hours with your mother in law, I suppose the usage is limited, unless it goes commercialize like the botox, where everyone suddenly want the same treatment use to relief anal fissure, on their faces. Funny how many organs from the rear end, ends up on one's face..(and I'm not talking about felatio here, excuse me) the skin grafting, plastic surgery...and now botox. It gives a whole new meaning to "kissing asses".

Assuming this "erase one's memory" goes commercial, what would we want to erase? Hmm...here's some from the top of my head :

ERASE :

1. the fact that our premier is allegedly or implicated as a murderer. Wake up one morning post procedure and feel the sudden urge go hug Najib, say thank you for the brilliant repackaging job done on the NEP. But the moment you walk up to the PM's office and your eyes caught a glimpse of Rosmah's picture hanging on the wall, tilted obviously due to the heaviness of her situation, your instinct tells you to turn around and go get a frappe chino instead. You suddenly develop a new phenomenon called C4bia....


2. the fact that the opposition leader is an alleged sodomist, and definitely erase that picture of mattresses being carried in and out of court, one you saw on CNN and BBC. Wake up one morning and feel the sudden urge to go hug Anwar..only, something at the back of you mind is nagging, "Do not pick up money found on the floor..do not pick up money found on the floor". You end up with no memory of Anwar being an alleged sodomist, but end up with this nagging puzzle at the back of your mind as to why your instinct tells you not to pick up money from the floor...


3. the trauma of loosing a spouse. I lost mine. But I don't think erasing the memory of him is going to help, since the last thing I need is to wake up one morning post procedure, wondering who the hell is that loud teenage girl doing in the living room, finishing my carton of milk, and calling me mom. Or for those who don't have kids, wake up one morning wondering how she lost her virginity. Or if it's a man, wake up one morning wondering ..ah well...men don't wonder with their actual head in the mornings....


4. for those traumatized by maths, erase the memory of ever sitting in classroom, slowly being murdered by trigonometry. You may wake up one morning, post procedure, wondering why you have extra one finger on both hands each....the doctor forgot to tell you that you may suffer the side effects of forgetting how to count.


5. Although for those of you who have awful in laws, , especially mother in laws. This method of erasing of memory of them may be useful. You wake up one morning post procedure, convinced that you've been lucky to be married to an ET. I can live with that.

6. For those die hard MJ fan, erase the memory of his death. You wake up one morning wondering, there's so many people dressed up like MJ, look like MJ, sound like MJ, dance almost like MJ, "will the real MJ please stand up"..after all, his songs are still playing as though he never left us...our kids are listening and singing to his songs, dancing his moves...something will never die, in MJ's case, someone...may he rest in peace.

7. erase the memory of having bad sex with nasty partner, not to mention the awkward conversation that follows afterwards. Only thing is that this procedure may risk erasing your memory of how to have sex at all..one of the rare words you don't want coming from your surgeon's mouth, "Ooops...."

8. the memory of the fashion you followed aptly in the 70s




Here are some memory alteration we can perform on others. given the time, I can think of many more, but these two are just the ones from the top of my head...which is in a hurry to do other stuff right now :

1. the memories of the politicians at the speech center level, make them forget how to talk, save us the useless rhetoric. They're better off on mute mode. Just shut up and do the job.
As for alteration of memories, I'm sure if it 's up to us, here's what we, Malaysians want:

2. Alter the memory of Ibrahim Ali, Zulkifli Nordin dan kawasan kawasan yang sewaktu dengannya. Let them wake up one morning post procedure thinking that they are transvestite erotic dancers. Oh God, I've just imagined the scene and i think I badly need to erase THAT traumatic picture!!

Although some memory you want to erase, like getting sodomised by politicians even without physical penetration, most memories we need to keep because it's the memories, be it good or bad are what makes us all what we are today. After all, if we got burnt for holding onto something hot, we need to remember it's hot so that we know how to handle the hot stuff in the future...

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning how to dance in the rain"

- some masochist -