Shut up and walk.....

I've been going to this reserve secondary forest, for the past 2years for my brisk walks. Yes, brisk walking, it has come down to that. (for some folks, even brisk walking is an expletive). But before you throw any mockery my way, picture this...You climbing a 1.5kms continuous 35degrees inclination without stopping, followed but path approximately 3kms that goes up and down, just like a woman's temperament governed by premenstrual hormones, plus, you age above 40years.The first time I walked the path, my tongue almost licked the road, in exhaustion and thirst. I finally understood what it meant to have your tongue hang out from wherever it came from when someone said,"his tongue hung out at the sight of the Pamella Anderson's....."

Above: An insidious flow of water making it's way as it later gathers to become a stream, just in time for men to pollute them before they joint to become the sea.

Actually, I started off with cycling sessions on the same track. I use to cycle on that track with my mountain bike (it sounds so impressive I know, but let me finish my sentence), on it's tarred road. I had to invest in a semi slick tyres to make the cycle smoother as the off track tyres can make you feel like you are cycling a tow truck when you are already tired. But after a few spins, that left me feeling absurd because I can't seemed to keep up with the person walking beside me. That itself is totally destructive to one's athletic ego!!! Was there a point to using wheels if you are going to get from point A to point B, slower than walking? In my paranoia, I could have sworn I heard the monkeys laughing and pointing their fingers at me in ridicule. I left my cycling to the Hulu Langat track and stuck to brief walking in this track.

Cycling in Hulu Langat, of which some of the tracks are part of the La tour de Langkawi, is absolutely brilliant. A word of caution though. On quiet days, namely weekdays, there are places that turned out to be the famous dumping sites for dead bodies. It's like, we cyclists cycle on weekends, the mafias dump bodies in the days in between. Quite a happening place considering it is termed "Ulu". Other than the dead bodies, which I have not yet discovered, it is a brilliant track to cycle especially on cyclists' weather.

If it is not for the fact that cycling more than 100kms a week increases the chance of impotence in men, I would have aptly cycled till today. Funny though, that the bunch of guys I cycled with had never breath a word of having male crisis to me, despite knowing that I'm a doctor. Impotence, such a lonely word, lonelier than honesty, and cycling could cause it. But wait a minute, I'm not a man. Well, the principals is the same. You sit on a bicycle seat too long, the pedundal arteries gets cut off from their blood supply. These arteries are responsible for the flow of blood into the genital area, hence the erection. A woman may not need an erection, but blood supply down there, that we definitely need.

As for women, well we have penis that failed to become, and we had to settle with something termed as clitoris (maybe that is why men think that they are superior than women) . With the same principals, I will leave you to do the math. Thank God for that (the clitoris that never became a penis situation). Imagine how screwed up the world may become with everyone governed by penises. Currently, statistics showed there are more women to the ratio of men. Men, a minority and already posing so many problems to the world and to women especially. Imagine if everyone has it!!! (Men are the cause of women's problems...menopause...dysmenorrhea (menstrual pain)...menorrhagia(excessive menses)...you want me to go on? Mental disorders...okay, I think I've made my point..)

Below is the video clip to demonstrate how simple things like the deafening sounds of nature could actually sooth one's soul. By "nature" I exclude human beings. If anything, men had worked hard in excluding themselves from nature, if not try to destroy it, just by taking for granted that they it is okay to do so.


Just a word on the ethics of going through nature. It irritates the hell out of me when people, normally Malaysians (I've bumped into Westerners who even their kids tend to respect the nature by keeping it down), make so much of noise while walking, alone via mobile phone conversation, and in group, amongst themselves. Joggers are quiet because they are too busy sucking the oxygen in for breath to keep them not dying from mere exercise. It amazes me how loud some people can get just talking to each other even when they are right in front of each others' faces. The reason why people come to walk through nature is because we want to listen to the nature, and not to your stupid conversation about "Anwar is not a homosexual because he has a wife and kids"...That statement itself goes to show how your IQ will not be a threat at all to the intelligence security.

I don't comprehend why people bring their hand phone with them while exercising. The whole idea of exercising, part of it is to have time by yourself to reflect. Perhaps it is a vicious cycle, you are an asshole because you don't reflect your life and your influence to your surrounding, therefore you continue to become an asshole". And why is it that people have to scream into their phones? Why use the phone when you may as well scream to one another, since you can be heard all the way to Timbuktoo anyway...

Then there are "the clappers". I don't know what the fuck they get walking and clapping as though their "chi" is going get transmitted to god knows where, if not my irritated ears.

My mom says it best, "Semua orang ada otak. Binatang pun ada otak. Yang tak ramai, orang yang guna aqal. "

Perhaps it has become our culture to not bother how our actions may inflict on our surroundings. That is why I love going there early, when there are minimal human around. Less actual monkeys to put up with...

Below are some of the scenery that pacifies the irritation I sometimes have to put up from human's lack of empathy towards others' need to have a moment of zen with the nature...
Below: Some may think that they have died from the exercise when they see the white light at the end of the walk....

Finally, water from Bukit to quench one's thirst after the long walk-jog. Karam Singh Walia once did a cover on this area. He commented on the type of water, which happened to be category one for this area, ergo, you can drink it without boiling it. Unfortunately, I do not have a breathtaking pantun to end my writing, as would Karam Singh...