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Saturday, 18 July 2009

A Midlife Crisis Ehhhh?

I'm sure most of us have had our fair share of what is termed as a "Midlife Crisis". I never really understood the term really. Well, for starter, how would one know it is a midlife crisis when one do not have any idea when he will die. If you don't know your life span, how would you know what age is smack right in the middle? I mean, if your lifespan is 50 years, like Michael Jackson, (may his soul rest in peace), than he would have had his midlife crisis sometime at the age of 25, which we all know was the prime of his career....25 years would be the age of Midlife crisis of Michael Jackson, yet perhaps a quarter life crisis for Woody Allen then. (Wait, Woody Allen suffered from 3/4 life crisis resulting in the affair he had with his adopted daughter when he was with Mia Farrow, his partner - read HERE for a short gossip. Hmm...his was probably more of a case of Men-N0-Pause rather than a midlife crisis) . Okay, I think you get my point.

Oxygen deprived after meal blood in tummy jokes aside,(for those who did not get my humor, don't sweat've actually got to be menopausal to get equally dry humor) , Midlife Crisis is suffered by merely 10% of people in the United States, according to one study done in 1980. I'm sure they can do better if they had changed the venue of study to Malaysia. Then again, it may not be such a good idea after all for Malaysians are so in denial, that even when they suffer from extreme stress, they will never admit it even to themselves, let alone allow medical help in a form of counseling, albeit they won't have trouble gulping in lots of "happy chill pills" using "jet lag" or "sleeping problems" as excuses. In a way, I am blessed. When some people say they have sleeping problems, they meant they have problems going to sleep. When I say I have "sleeping problems", I actually meant "I have problems getting up from sleep".

Back on track, while some may suffer from a true midlife crisis, some from bad behaviour using midlife crisis as an excuse ergo giving midlife crisis a bad name, some just lucky enough not to suffer at all. Of course at one point of one's life, one may have internal conflict, a moment when you pause to look at your own life to reassess it. Life itself has it's Ying and it's Yangs. What I call as Kodak moments and Prozak moments (oh yes it rhymes, just pronounced "Kodak" in American accent). It's impossible to feel happy all the time. The only people who are happy ALL THE TIME are those who are residing in the Mental Asylum, heavily on "chill pills".

As for me, I don't know if it was a midlife crisis or just life's crisis, exactly 9 years 9 days ago, someone I loved very much passed away, leaving me shaken right down to the core. (in a non orgasmic sense of it of course). I am never the same since. My outlook in life changed. I value life as more precious and should not be taken for granted, neither do I take the people around me who are part of my life, for granted. Yes it did, changed me forever. Not that it is a bad thing. In fact weighing the pros and cons, I dare say I have managed to grow out of the whole ordeal, to become stronger and wiser. Of course I kept telling God that I wouldn't mind a bit gaining my wisdom in a less harsher method but He had His own plan to execute, part of His Rububiyat, I pacified myself, when I lay in the darkness of the night wondering, blinking my sorrow away asking God "why me" and I could have sworn I heard Him say, "Why not". As for growing stronger, when my pre-menstrual hormones get the better of me, I can't help but dispute, "where does getting stronger get me anyway". Then again, c'iest la vie...

But you know, a midlife crisis is like a wake up call. We need wake up calls well, to wake us up from a nightmare or a dream. (although sometimes it could wake people up from a dream only to create a nightmare in real life,depends on one's outlook in life) it serves like some kind of "adrenalin" that gives us the push to venture new things in life, make it interesting again, keeps us going, make us feel..well, ALIVE. Life should not be stagnant and predictable. We should from time to time rekindle our rendezvous with chances and fate, teasing them to see where it takes us. (Having said that, please be informed of the term "calculated risk"...Bungee jumping can be exhilarating but please drop in to visit your physician before deciding to make that jump)

"It is not about what life has to offer, rather, what you bring into it"

I think we should all embrace whatever that is thrown to us by life. Because being part of the universe, we have no choice but to comply to change. In fact we should expect change to happen. There is always a blessing in disguise, albeit sometimes, clouded by anger, it is difficult to appreciate this. But if you calm that anger, you will find beneath it a third Newton Law, or some call it Karma, or Qada' and Qadar..whatever, but you will no doubt find it if look for it. And when you do find it, you have indeed attained wisdom. Once in a while, try throwing back things into life, see where it gets you. You will never complain of being bored of life, that is for sure.

"Life is not about waiting for the thunderstorm to pass, but learning how to dance in the rain"

A toast, "Here's to the Kodak moments, and the Prozak moments..may we all get jiggy with it in the rain ....Cheers folks!!"

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