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Friday, 13 February 2009

What Valentine's Day means to Singletons

It's the time of the year again, when Cupids are made to work overtime. For lovers all over the world, this is the time to show their love, sometimes to the point of ridicule, but hey, "Thinking kills romance".....

But for those Singletons out there, it's another day to remind them that they don't have that chance to flaunt their idiosyncrasy, or if you are rich, the term appropriately used is eccentricity(a synonym for different hierarchy)in a form of expressing love for that special someone. But fear not my fellow singletons....there's always the good side of despair. Incidentally, I have a list of it...

Top Ten reasons,( in random disorder) reasons, why it's cool to NOT celebrate Valentine's Day (the sour-grape list)

1. The hair factor: For women, they don't have to shave for just that one day, then suffer the incredible itch days after, when the hair starts growing back. For men, they don't have to plant hair on the bald patches just for that one day to impress. Hmm...I wonder if Samy Veloo is celebrating or celibating this year.

2. They save money. No need to spend money on roses that cost three times on normal non Valentine's Day,especially during this tsunami recession period, could use the extra cash. For those who are unlucky (in financial sense of it) enough to be obliged to spend Valentine's Day,click HERE for damage control

3. The fatwa flers are off breathing down their neck. The negative point for this however, is that you can never get your job done with the Islamic Department since all personnel are out on field work. ( Since porn is prohibited, why not watch them LIVE, and dig this...for free!!!).

4. They are not pressured to have sex on that very particular day just coz it's Valentine's Day, and risk suffering from performance pressure, especially when you are above 60. I wonder how much a viagra would cost on Valentine's Day?

5. They don't feel exploited, well at least less exploited for one day.

6. They have a chance to become tempera-mental, say, kick their boss's ass and blame it on Valentine Day's blues. Women, however gets this chance every one day of the month.

7. They don't have to exhaust their brains planning, not to mention exhaust your patience on the booking of venues etc. Besides, if you're involve in extra marital affairs, extra brain exhaustion is needed to cook up excuses to celebrate twice, on the same day, one with the legal spouse, unless you have a competent,loyal and trustworthy secretary to do all the dirty job for you, and provided the extra marital affair is not with her. The singletons just don't experience exhaustion in this sense.

8. Since Singletons don't have to waste time celebrating Valentine's Day, they have extra time to blog and catch up with Facebook-ing.

9. They run less risk of ending up in the Emergency Room, with, for women, embarrassing gynaelogical problems. I once had a 65 year old lady came in with a condom stuck in her ummentionable.(basically, this comes under technical error). I cannot till today decide which surprised me the most; the condom distressed, or the having sex in her menopausal age. For men, less risk of barrel repair.

10. They get to bitch about those who celebrate Valentine's Day.

Nevertheless, to all singletons and couples out there; HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!
...Click here to find out how deep the rabbit hole goes.....

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