"AI" stands for "Artificial Intelligence" lah..

Today, all eyes are feasted upon whats-his-face again?..saiful I think, but who cares, really, about the face since all eyes are on his asshole. Yes, it’s the hot international worthy headline produced by Malaysians, that makes you want to quickly switch off the TV once it is mentioned on international news such as CNN, BBC etc or just hide your face in the niche of either one of your armpits…It’s Sodomy Part 2 telenovela made in Malaysia, sponsored by the tax payers..

The dispute started off when Mahathir sang “I did it my way”, apparently his favourite song, but Anwar, instead, insisted that he sang, oops….allegedly sang, “I did it the other way”, hence the sodomy trial he ended up with, . Frankly, I don’t really give a damn about who got buggered or who is the bugger, I have nothing against people who enjoy the alternative way to conventional sex, long as it doesn’t involve me anywhere in between.

I’m even okay with bestiality long as the donkey do not press charges for it’s penile blister or something less mundane for the veterinarians to diagnose. After all, the Arabs do it although they will swear upon the Quran that they don’t and everyone who do it will go to hell (hell is definitely an interesting place since every interesting character I know off are going there)…as far as I’m concern, better do the donkey than the Arabs, at least the donkey won’t bother opening their mouth to have a conversation with you.

I do not like Anwar Ibrahim. Not for the reasons shared by many politicians and their disciples, but because of personal experience….err..in a non harlot sense of it, just in case you have ideas crawling up that idle mind that becomes a devil’s workshop of yours. And there’s one political reason for my not liking him.

Let’s crawl into the wormhole of thoughts and back into the past. First thing that goes through our minds I'm sure would be, "what the hell was I thinking when I was in my 20s?!". By now you would have realized, that we are better off now, having our heads finally put together, at the expense of the body falling apart though. Okay, dumb jokes aside, I was involved in getting a bunch of Medical Students to approach the Kementerian Pelajaran.

To cut a very Bollywood-like long story short, these 7 students got their seats played out, but the system accommodated them to cover up their accidentally unveiled plot, only to impose ridiculous and non achievable standards guaranteed to purge them back out again, in order to maintain a success rate of the incoming brand new integrated system, due the year after.

Turned out, the administration was determined to kick more than 7 students due to overload of students , including those who came back from overseas, flunked from being the government’s guinea pig (from Belgium and many more places where the students had language barrier) and ended up in the same batch. The administrator introduced a point system, so to make sure it was impossible to meet and well, suffice to say that close to about 50 students were kicked out from the faculty that year.

All students were denied the opportunity to repeat the individual papers that they flunked not to mention denied to repeat the whole year and was kicked out, just like that. Needless to say this included the seven students who’s seats got played out by the administration. It was arranged by the student body for these 7 students to plead to the Education Ministry, the intention being, given the circumstances created for them by the administration, they be allowed to repeat at least the the individual papers that they had flunked, if not a whole academic year.

This project (much… much later we found out, after connecting the dots) served as a project for the Medical Dean’s wife, who happen to come from a very strong and influential UMNO clan. Hardly two years later, she was promoted from Prof Madya to Professorship, due to the “success” of this Integrated System Curriculum, of course at the expense of not just the 7 students, but the other 20 who were absorbed into the Uni after flunking from yet another failed JPA project, mostly from Belgium.

These students had language barrier (you don’t say...which idiot decided to send them to Belgium again?) and had failed miserably in their respective Uni in Belgium. If I were to learn medicine in Belgium, I’d probably bring back a vocabulary on Belgium expletives, handy to use it right on the face of the JPA personnel, cursing them with the sweetest smile in French, Dutch and German, equally, but of course that is but another story. By the way, the curriculum got switched back to it's conventional mode 5 years later. I did not follow up which UMNO member needed their professorship to revert the system this time around. I was out of the Uni and into my own misery that I dug all by myself, it's called "becoming a government doctor" by the way.

Anyway, none was allowed to repeat a whole year (of course, wouldn’t want to destroy the statistic ergo the success rate of the new program right?). Having their seats played out, not to mention they had merely 7 months to prepare for the 1st Professional Examination, compared to the standard 10 months, and not being able to not only re seat for the papers, but not allowed to repeat the academic year either, these students seek the students’ body’s help in representing them in seeking justice from the Kementerian Pelajaran.

That was where I stepped in. So, as one of the representatives to the students’ body, I was amongst a handful of student who went to seek the Education Minister’s help in settling the matter. In a way, I did not let them down, in the sense of making our voices heard. Obviously my talents of slicing others with my tongue, was proven put to good use that day.

Guess what was Anwar’s greeting line the first time he saw us? I’d quote to you in his exact words, so that you can be the judge.

“Senanglah ya, dah fail jumpa menteri”.

(Convenient of you, to flunk and come see the minister)

That was the moment, when it hit me, that this guy is truly an ASSHOLE. Here’s how I came into conclusion. He’s where he is then, because the rakyat elected him, and put him there. He’s not there to insult people at first hello. That is not what he got paid for. To come up with such a statement, even before he listen and gave us a chance to open our mouths to sigh, goes to show that he’s not there in the interest of the rakyat. The very basic trait of a leader is to listen and when people who had been oppressed come to him for help, then dammit, it’s his job to un-oppress them, or at least solve the matter. Worst comes to worst, if he still belong in the human clan, offer an ear to listen to our problems.

I remember I sat just beside him as he sat at the head of the long conference table and he was giving his long lecture of why Ministers should not intervene in the affairs of the University (of course, our local universities do not offer pelajaran, and that was why it does not come under the jurisDICKtion of the Kementerian Pelajaran) and he was going on and on in his eloquent politician ranting, yadddaaaa yadaaaa yakkk yakkk blah blah and more blah….basically, it’s like driving from KL all the way to Kuantan via Grik and Terengganu, instead of just taking the KL-Kuantan highway.

I think I managed to piss him off with my verbal diarrhoea that really made him turn red…I kid you not, he was redder that a Santa on alcohol. And I told him off in English by the way. I remember telling him, ( I tend to speak my mind in English whenever I’m pissed off and just got fed up)

“Yang Berhormat, with all due respect, we are not here to beg you to pass us. We are merely here to plead to you, so as justice to these students be served. It was not their fault that they are women, and it was not their fault that the Vice Chancellor is paranoid that there will be more women than men doctors in the future, nor it was not their fault that the VC predicted that these ladies, will join Arqam, get married and breed halfway of after obtaining their degree. It is not their fault that they found out their seats got played out. It was not their fault their seats got played out. It was not even their fault that they were only given 7 months to prepare for the 1st Professional Examination and it was not them who came up with non achievable point system that ensured they are not able to repeat the individual papers they flunked, let alone repeat the whole academic year. Their fault is that they refuse to succumb to the faulty system that the university had set. No, they are not here to ask you to pass them. They are here merely to request that justice be served. Clearly, injustice had been done here. At least allow them to repeat the individual papers they had flunked, some of them had only flunked one out of three papers, or repeat the academic year. These students are not stupid or incapable becoming medical students cum doctors, it’s just that they are the victims of circumstances, the circumstances set by the university. All they need is for you to help them get a second chance. Is that too much to ask from you?”

I could have sworn that the silence I had caused, not to mention his flaming red face, had enabled us to hear even a silent fart seeping insidiously making it’s way from anyone’s tip of the gastrointestinal tract, in that particular room at that moment. Everyone was observing in shocked silence, including me, who at that time was thinking of what other options I have should they kick me out of the medical school. Even selling Ramlee burger, as demure as it sounded, felt like a brilliant idea at that particular frame of time.


Finally, after recovering from my verbal diarrhea spurted onto his face, his ranting took a turn into rhetoric then finally promises, which later proved to be empty.

I kid you not. He was being very polite from that point on, probably just to get rid of us, or me. Obviously I'm toxic to his conscience, if ever he had one. However, the word “sifar” may have as well been invented by him, when it comes to the feedback of that meeting. He did absolutely NOTHING. We figured much later, perhaps this UMNO guy was not keen on intervening in the turf of the other UMNO goons, not even for the sake of justice. It was then, it dawned to us all, that UMNO was not there to help anyone, BUT themselves.

Of course, when I heard what happened to him, the first thought that came to my mind was, “ Wow…..there is a God…the phrase ‘what goes around comes around’ was not invented without a reason. I believe, the Hindus call it…KARMA?”

Well, that’s the personal reason why I think Anwar is not the leader he tries to project himself to be. I almost choked on my own saliva laughing when on a national televised debate he had sometime last year with the Minister of Information, he said out loud something about feeling pity for the farmers and the kampong people for the increment of the oil price. Yeah , right, he’s very concern about people being oppressed. Him talking about justice is like the most religious clerics talking sense.

As for political reasons, well, I’m not really into politics because basically Malaysian politics is crap, albeit necessary to know. A truly irritating combo. I truly felt the chills when he was encouraging Malaysia to accept the IMF help. That and the article I read about him stating that he is in good books with Paul Wolfowitz and Al Gore.

Hmmm…..where have I heard that name before…Al Gore…Al Gore…very familiar in an irritating manner indeed…ah yes…could it be Al Gore the lead actor in the drama called Climategate? the forefront con artist who is representing the oligarchies in bagging money from carbon tax, part of the plan for a New World Order? My, my, apparently it's not just the birds, but assholes too flock together. It’s no wonder why CNN and BBC are especially fond of who’s asshole Anwar’s allegedly buggered. I’m sure they were kind of more hoping that it would be that of Mahathir's. They were probably be wondering, how can they keep that feisty ol' man's trap shut from unveiling the demons amongst them? But to attempt that may prove to be a rape in form of a fellatio. So, we are all left with the sodomy trials to further remind us that after all, we are merely a develop-ING country, a long way to go before we finally become developed and can afford to become world's most annoying megalomaniac powered by the nuclear, to back it up.

And here's something about Paul Wolfowitz..

Funny how whenever people refer him as "AI", I'd thought of it as "Artificial Intelligence". "A" stands for "Artificial", how befitting.

Well, there you go. My reasons for not liking Anwar Ibrahim. It’s not because he belongs to the Back Street Boys club, but simply because he would say anything to gain popularity amongst voters, yet do completely something else, or in our case, did completely nothing. What’s that word I’m looking for…hmm..ah yes…a hypocrite. Then again..isn't hypocrisy is the mandatory requirement to become politicians?