Flogging the floggers.......

So okay, I'm done with making fun of our system. How can I not, it's as tempting as fornicating itself. It's just so biased, and in bad need of research and revamping. I may get hanged for saying so, but hey, most people who tell the truth and not say something with the intention of sucking up to the consensus not to mention the auta-rities, purely because they are interested in erecting the truth, ends up in an anti "and they live happily ever after" ending. For those who are wondering what the hell am I talking about here, especially when there are big words like "sucking", "erecting", "happily ever after", no, this is not cheap porn. I'm about to indulge in something quite serious.

We are all aware of the recent whipping incident that did not involve any cream or leathery endeavors. Yes, yes, I'm still talking about that flock sentence carried out secretly. That's the ironic part about it though, the secrecy. Maybe they are preparing this type of sentence to be undertaken against some of the "Religious head of some states" who, have been living in sin (fornicating, adultery, gambling, killing someone softly not with his song but with his golf clubs, etc..etc..etc... and it's an open secret really..), ergo the secrecy?

What does the Quran say about "Zina"? The surah related to the root word and the word "zina" or implication of zina which is "lewdness" can be found in these surah; 4:15, 4:25, 17:32, 24:2-4, 6-10,33,25:68-69 and 60:12

Before I start with the more prominent surah, I have to point out that, the Ulama uses the word, "fornication" and "adultery", and sometimes, in some translations, "lewdness" interchangeably. While "adultery" involves illicit sex between married couple who are not married with each other, the word "fornication" means pre-marital sex. Wow, the latter would seriously boost the whip business, or in the recent case in Malaysia, the "sebatang kayu", talk about saving the planet by reserving the kayu. Then again, regions like Pahang are quite generous with their balak.
(MORE QUESTIONS THAN THERE ARE, ANSWERS, AS YOU ENTER THE RABBIT HOLE)

Two things that bothers me in the matter of this whipping as a sentence of adulterous/fornicators;

1. The term "whipping" itself. The Quranic word in red which carries the root word JaLDa does not mean a stick, but something that will touch the skin, [since the word jalda is a derivative of a word that is used for skin (JeLD).]. So basically, using a whip made out of leather (skin) or even giving these sex offenders 100 slaps with the bare hands would probably cut it...honestly, it would give the word "two tight slaps" a whole new level. Of course the latter is my opinion, which I dare say, cannot be said as wrong, right?

الزَّانِيَةُ وَالزَّانِي فَاجْلِدُوا كُلَّ وَاحِدٍ مِّنْهُمَا مِئَةَ جَلْدَةٍ وَلَا تَأْخُذْكُم بِهِمَا رَأْفَةٌ فِي دِينِ اللَّهِ إِن كُنتُمْ تُؤْمِنُونَ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الْآخِرِ وَلْيَشْهَدْ عَذَابَهُمَا طَائِفَةٌ مِّنَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ

[Shakir 24:2] (As for) the fornicatress and the fornicator, flog each of them, (giving) a hundred stripes, and let not pity for them detain you in the matter of obedience to Allah, if you believe in Allah and the last day, and let a party of believers witness their chastisement.

[Yusufali 24:2] The woman and the man guilty of adultery or fornication,- flog each of them with a hundred stripes: Let not compassion move you in their case, in a matter prescribed by Allah, if ye believe in Allah and the Last Day: and let a party of the Believers witness their punishment.

[Pickthal 24:2] The adulterer and the adulteress, scourge ye each one of them (with) a hundred stripes. And let not pity for the twain withhold you from obedience to Allah, if ye believe in Allah and the Last Day. And let a party of believers witness their punishment.

2. The word "fornicator" and "adulterous".

We are aware that in some parts of the Islamic country, stoning to death is the sentence for adultery. Ironically, nothing of such is stated in the Quran. So, where did this interpretation come from and how much credence does it deserve? According to some authoritative sources this particular passage, 24:2 refers 'only' to fornication (not adultery) for which the punishment is 100 stripes. For adultery the punishment (according to one account of the Sunnah [practice] of the Prophet) is stoning to death.

To some degree, there seem to be a conflict between the terminology of "fornicator" and "adulterer" as evidenced on three of the translation of 24:2 given above. Of course, what I'm about to say may be accused of trying to find a loophole in fornicating, which is probably half the truth, but, sometimes, I cannot help but wonder, "What if they've screwed up (it won't be the first time) in the interpretation of the word 'وَالزَّانِي
' which means "zina". What if "zina" means "adultery" and have got nothing to do with "fornication"?

Another possibility would be the word "fornication" does not mean pre-marital sex but rampant sex, or what I'd conveniently term it as a Touch & Go? After all, Islam is the continuation of the religion of Abraham, Ismail, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Isa as evidenced by this surah;

[3:84]"Say (O Muhammad): We believe in Allah and that which is revealed unto us and that which was revealed unto Abraham and Ishmael and Isaac and Jacob and the tribes, and that which was vouchsafed unto Moses and Jesus and the prophets from their Lord. We make no distinction between any of them, and unto Him we have surrendered(muslimin)."

[The blue print added by me taken from the Arabic text to show the word "Muslimin", root word "Islam" means "surrender"]

What if the word "marriage" is a vow exchanged in the eyes of God, and taking a woman exclusively would automatically make her his wife, just like Mary Magdelina was to Isa? What am I ranting here? Well, during the time of Jesus/Isa, when a woman and a man stay true together, that is considered as a marriage. Why would it be any different now? If so, then perhaps the status of two people staying true to each other exclusively as, what is now termed as "girlfriend" and "boyfriend" is actually, what is termed as a "marriage" in those days?
In short, perhaps "fornicators" are those who are "philanderers". Besides, those days, the some Muslim rulers and some Muslim men, slept with their female slaves, and were seen as "legal", what can we make out of that? Marriage? Fornication? Philandering? What?

Think about it. It makes sense doesn't it? The purpose of the "whipping" is basically not to really cause debilitation, rather to bring shame to such a deceiving act like "adultery" and "philandering". I mean, who ever heard of anyone dying from tight slaps or even BDSM whippings.....well, the latter may carry a minute percentage...but you get what I mean.

Basically, it's God's way of letting the humans practice safe sex, without the emotional and moral deception from adultery nor the amongst many STDs, the herpes simplex virus, a precursor to cervical cancer, transmitted via multiple sex partners, for the philanderers. If you think condoms may help prevent these, yes and no, which makes it about slightly more than 50% protection. As for pregnancy, I've seen women getting pregnant even after the bilateral tubal ligation was done. My principal of safe sex goes something like this;

"The safest sex is having no sex at all. That is why sex after marriage is safer, because couples hardly have sex after marriage."

Oh, but I digress.

Although the stoning to death seem inhuman, anyone with a cheating husband or wife may feel otherwise, and would probably would like to stone the cheating partner themselves. After all, someone did a Bobbit on her husband and got away with it...But alas!! Stoning to death of adulterers is to me, total rubbish, but some "Islamic" countries are practicing this, even on a rape victim, believe it or not in a non Ripley's manner.

The ulama-s who worked this out must have been cheated on by his wife hence the sentence. Clearly this kind of sentence comes from human because for even the sin hated most by God, and that would be disbelieving after believing, He did not hand out "death" as a sentence. Food for thoughts indeed.

We all know how convenient it was for Muslims of the past to manipulate religion to their own advantages. You don't believe me, indulge yourselves in the true history of Islam. You won't last long reading them if you're one of people who have great imagination but is petrified or faint at the sight of blood.

The Malay translation of Quran,is much ambiguous since the word adulterous and fornicators are just termed as "penzina". Interestingly, the Malay translation uses the word, "dera" as punishment for the "penzina". To me, dera 100 kali could also mean writing on the blackboard "Saya bertaubat, tidak akan berzina dengan Cikgu Zaiton lagi" 100 times, but of course you should not take me seriously on this. I'm quite happy with the root word explanation of "JaLDa" that I've mentioned earlier.

3. The third thing that bothers me about this whole whipping thing is that the omission of the word "forgiveness" for those who repent.

Let's read the surah in their entirety;

[24:1] A sura which We have sent down and which We have ordained in it have We sent down Clear Signs, in order that ye may receive admonition.

[24:2] The woman and the man guilty of adultery or fornication,- flog each of them with a hundred stripes: Let not compassion move you in their case, in a matter prescribed by Allah, if ye believe in Allah and the Last Day: and let a party of the Believers witness their punishment.

[24:3] Let no man guilty of adultery or fornication marry and but a woman similarly guilty, or an Unbeliever: nor let any but such a man or an Unbeliever marry such a woman: to the Believers such a thing is forbidden.

[24:4] And those who launch a charge against chaste women, and produce not four witnesses (to support their allegations),- flog them with eighty stripes; and reject their evidence ever after: for such men are wicked transgressors ;-

[24:5] Unless they repent thereafter and mend (their conduct); for Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

Notice the ";-" that I had highlighted in red in surah 24:4? Well, in the Quran, this does not exist. But it is significant when put at that particular spot since this would bring a whole new meaning as to who may be forgiven should they repent. Without that ";-", then taken as a whole, the surah may bring the meaning that should the fornicators/adulterers repent, then they may be forgiven and since Allah is Oft-Forgiving, and Most Merciful, most likely they will be forgiven. Unfortunately, apart from the detachment of this "forgiving" part in the making of hudud, humans are less forgiving to their own kind.

In the case of the three women caned, they came forward to confess their regret, click HERE for this story, so instead of leaving them alone to seek forgiveness from God, or even send them for counseling, (from the ulama'? god, frankly i'd rather get whipped) the auta-rities chose to "whip" them instead. And while we're at it, if the auta-rities claim that this is an Islamic way of handling things, they have to answer a few questions before claiming that;

1. Where did that fine in a form of monetary came from? Why should society gain financially from their mistake?

[36:21] Follow those who ask of you no fee, and who are rightly guided.

2. Were there any reliable 4 witness catching these women in act. Did they witness any penetration? Because failing to come up with the reliable witnesses, would mean that the accuser, according to 24:4 be liable to 80 "whips", unless of course, they too, repent.

3. Why weren't the male counterpart of the adulterer/fornicator whipped? 24:2 clearly stated that both parties involved were to be "flogged". Interestingly, the English word, "flog" also carries the meaning "to criticize harshly"...just a thought...

By now, surely you will be able to differentiate between the law of God, and the law man made, called hudud. I am not questioning God's law, I agree to the "flogging" because married people who have extra marital affairs, need to be shamed, because there is no excuse for them to stay married while have sex with someone else, it just beats the purpose of a marriage. God has made divorce and marriage as unimaginably simple as it can get. It is us humans that complicate things, [don't let me start with the kursus perkahwinan...unless they are teaching the bakal pengantin how to indulge in blow jobs and position other than the conventional "man on top" ,(of course, in Islam women cannot be on top right? If you don't catch my tone of cynicism, I give you the permission to go shoot yourself) ] so there is no need for an extra marital affairs..nor there be any excuse for that deception..

I am however, critical about the interpretation of Quran, which is of course done by humans. My point is, the hudud law is man made law, sometimes, more of a man's flaw. There is nothing in the Quran that says caning of alcohol consumers, public or otherwise, this be a good example. We as Muslims must be able to rationalize issues and not rely on the authorities, without questioning them. They are not God so much so that questioning them is wrong. Questioning them IS NOT questioning God, which they like to use against those who question them, a form of Veto power. God wants us to use our brains as He said so himself in 6:116

" If thou obeyedst most of those on earth they would mislead thee far from Allah's way. They follow naught but an opinion, and they do but guess."

The people who self elect themselves to run Islam will have to remember, that power is not why they are there;(indeed, why are they there?)

[3:64] Say: "O People of the Book! come to common terms as between us and you: That we worship none but Allah; that we associate no partners with him; that we erect not, from among ourselves, Lords and patrons other than Allah." If then they turn back, say ye: "Bear witness that we (at least) are Muslims (bowing to Allah's Will).

These people should remember Quran, as a prime source of the way of life, the deen of the submitters (which means 'Islam').

[6:38] There is not an animal (that lives) on the earth, nor a being that flies on its wings, but (forms part of) communities like you. Nothing have we omitted from the Book, and they (all) shall be gathered to their Lord in the end.

Muslims should really learn how to question what is shoved to them in a package called "Islam", whether it is righteous in it's form of daily practice, or otherwise. Is it really the "Islam" left to us by Muhammad, or "Islam" manipulated through time, an Islam that survived decades of wars and killings, in order to erect it in the name of Allah. Or did it really survive?

It is convenient for the authorities to throw threats like "apostates", "kafir" etc to those who learn to questions their actions. But the truth remains the truth, and the truth needs be erected, no matter how painful it is, like "whipping" of adulterers. Just like mothering, you sometimes need to be cruel, just to be kind, albeit we need to explore the word "forgive" more than "punishing".

[4:82] Do they not consider the Qur'an (with care)? Had it been from other Than Allah, they would surely have found therein Much discrepancy.

I think it's only fair that we flog (as in, "to critisize") the floggers?
(RABBIT HOLE ENDS HERE)
...Click here to find out how deep the rabbit hole goes.....

Awww.....pukul lah kuat sikit.....awww awwww

As I traveled through the wormhole of my mind and reminisce the good old days in school where things were much simpler, I am able to recall that except for getting good grades, ignorance was truly bliss. It was a time when "e-mail" was a misnomer that would get your marks minus 2 for a wrong spelling of "mail" or even "male", a time when I use to get letters from pen pals, a cliche, written;

"Pecah kaca pecah gelas Sudah baca harap balas".

Now, what I get in the mail would read,

"Pecah kaca pecah gelas Sudah baca harap bayar"....

I cringe though, when a neuron transmission triggered my memory of Ugama Class. Apart from feeling deprived of getting my curiosity granted it's satiety, and the discomfort felt in my gut every time I learn about the history of Islam, I was uncomfortable with the fact that blood seemed ample but not for donation. Unrest seems to not rest. Women insidiously loose their rights again. It seems like Muslims have forgotten that one of the main purpose of Islam is to erect justice and equality amongst humans, regardless of race, gender, culture, etc. It is a religion of progression, to free the minds of the submitters. What followed therein, was not erection, rather impotence of justice, beyond the help of Tongkat Ali.

Is there any difference of how women are treated now, then they were during the Jahiliyah era, and soon after the death of Muhammad? If there is anything wrong, fingers will somehow rather end up inevitably pointing towards a woman. A woman is raped, it's the woman's fault. A man cannot control his amygdala, it's woman's fault. (btw, apparently, when it comes to sex, size matters. No wonder Muslim men tells their women to cover their heads despite no such thing mentioned in the Quran, and the men bandage their heads in order to retard the growth of their brain size. Apparently, it's to control their sex drive. The other side effect of a shrunk brain is of course the dumb thoughts that comes out of it...although, I wish I can say it's purely coincidental, though).

Yes, basically, women are the root of all problems...not money and power, no.
This is how they came to the conclusion;


So there you go. That explains why women are the root of all problems. We must be purified, concubined, hidden in the house and fast etc etc etc....yeaa yeaa, we get that, woman is root of all evil, not money and power.....let's move on.

So, I'm not surprised at the act of canning the 3 women apparently caught for illicit sex. You can read them HERE and HERE'S THE WOMEN DECRYING. I'm not even surprised that the Home Minister condoned such sentence to be carried out in some secret place.

What really run through one's mind when told of whippings going on in a dark secret place ?....

Turned out, this was the photo released to demonstrate how the process took place;

What an anti climax (pun not intended of course). Looking at that sad excuse of a whip, I cannot help but wonder, "why bother".

Mystery envelopes this very act of secrecy. Why the secrecy? Why bother reporting it almost a week later? Or, did these alleged whipping ever took place at all? Are these women having illicit sex amongst themselves? Or were there men involved? As it was written and I quote,

"He said the ministry agreed on the procedure for the caning of Muslim women offenders for syariah offences on Dec 4. They include thorough checks before and after the caning, ensuring that the women were not pregnant and were appropriately dressed according to the Islamic dress code."

I reckon men were involved, well, at least one man, because women simply cannot impregnate another woman. If so, how come there is no news of men or at least a man being whipped? Even if it was all three woman involved, at least one man is needed so much so, they were given that thorough check up including to exclude pregnancy. If men are not involved, can it be at all called sex, and if so, can it be considered under "illicit"? Hmm...questions...questions...

I cannot help but wonder, what constitutes "illicit sex" in Malaysia? After all, in Article 3 of the Malaysian constitution, it is stated that "Islam shall be the religion of Malaysia, but other religions may be practiced in peace and harmony in any parts of Malaysia", and nothing said about Malaysia being an Islamic country. So how is it that the Syariah Law overruled the Constitutional Law, pointed out by Sisters in Islam (SIS) executive director Dr Hamidah Marican, who said;

“It violates constitutional guarantees of equality and non-discrimination as the whipping of women under Syariah Criminal Offences legislation contradicts civil law where women are not punishable by caning under Section 289 of the Criminal Procedure Code”

Here's a very interesting history behind the birth of this Article 3 courtesy of Art Harun. Talk about labor pain.....



Under Constitutional Law, sex may not even be illicit then, or just to throw in some interesting controversy for the heck of sensationalizing something, perhaps, what is left in sex to become illicit is sex performed in your Avatar form.....



And while we're at it, the Minister involved in condoning this act is Home Affair, not ExtraMarital Affair. He awed me, not in a good way when he was the Education minister, whereby if memory serves me well, he could not make a firm decision regarding the students with straight As who wanted to do medicine but was denied, perhaps because they do not have the "special skin color". The same joker who could not decide whether to ban or not to ban our kids using hand phone in schools. Yes, again, the same joker who left it to the teachers to decide whether to close the school due to the haze that hit KL some time back.

My my, he reminded me of my ex boyfriend, whom I called Smeagol. My ex boyfriend was fickle minded because he was a divorcee. What's the Home Minister's excuse? I think I may have him figured out. He's there just to be loved. He is not interested in doing what is right, rather, what is popular. You know what they say, when you combine Mr Lova Lova with a series of dumb decisions....why, you get, James Bean of course!!

Here are bits of what was written in StarOnline;(the printings in red is my comment....of course..)

Hishamudin said, “They have all repented. They are also hoping that others will not go against the teachings of the religion,” he said, adding that the sentence was meted out according to Islamic rules.
Hishammuddin said one of the women was released on Sunday after spending a month in prison (but I thought he said the sentence was meted out according to Islamic rules. Which part is that one month jail coming from then?)and another was expected to be released over the next few days.

“The punishment is aimed at getting the offenders to repent and seek Allah’s forgiveness. (I wonder how anyone can know if anyone repents).It is also meant to educate Muslims to follow the teachings of Islam.”(obviously the school curriculum had failed since they committed the sin despite that long, butt numbing Ugama classes...hmm..maybe the numbing is to prepare us all for the whip on the buttocks? sigh...questions...questions...)

I don't know about you, but if I'm into BDSM, with that kind of whipping, I'd gain twice from the whole ordeal ;-D. Awwwww....sakitnya...aaawwwwww....pukul lar lagi...awwwww..tinggal 3 sebatan jer lagi? Pukul lah kuat sikit...awwww...

You know what bites me? Other civilizations are talking about "the ethics behind genetic engineering" and "tissue regeneration" and "Role of Nanotechnology in treatment of cancer", and here we are, talking about "How to whip a fornicator". How about "How to whip a corrupted person" eh ? After all...they screw others for money...
Really Malaysians, where do we go from here?

(For those who view this post via "Notes" on Facebook, do go to the Original Post to view some of the most interesting videos which cannot be viewed in "Notes")

A History of Tanah Melayu; you will never find in the SMK curriculum

I found this very interesting history lesson written by non other than Raja Petra. I will not write my usual garbage, because I can't wait to have you read this...

Here goes:

Those who seek public office must first be made to sit for a history test. Only when they pass the test should they be allowed to become ministers, political secretaries, press secretaries, etc. This will avoid them making stupid statements like what many of the Umno people are now doing. NO HOLDS BARRED Raja Petra Kamarudin Now a new controversy has erupted. And it’s about the statement that the Indians came here as beggars and the Chinese as prostitutes. Actually, if you were to really study Malayan and Malaysian history over the last 500 years or so, you will find that this country’s history is not just about beggars and prostitutes. It is about much more than that.

Malayan history has to be dissected into many periods. And each of these periods saw immigration involving almost all the races in Malaysia, save the Orang Asli (the Original People). In New Zealand, these Orang Asli would be the Maoris and in Australia the Aborigines. Therefore, anyone who is neither a Maori nor an Aborigine is a ‘pendatang’ or immigrant. The Arabs and the Indians (Muslims from Gujarat) came to Malaya more than 500 years ago as traders and merchants. These were the people who brought Islam to this country. At that time, the locals were mostly Hindus while those from Negeri Sembilan were Buddhists, plus many who worshipped trees, the sea, rivers, mountains and whatnot. The coming of the Arab and Indian merchants exposed the locals to Islam. In those days, the people followed their Rulers.

Therefore, when the Rulers converted to Islam the people followed -- although they may not have believed in Islam or understood the religion. In fact, many till today still do not understand Islam after more than 500 years. Then along came the Chinese and many were actually Muslims as well. Islam first reached China around 100 years after Prophet Muhammad. This means Islam had ‘migrated’ to China about 1,300 to 1,400 years ago, 800 to 900 years earlier than Islam in Malaysia. Of course, in the northern states bordering Thailand it was earlier than that. (Refer to the Batu Bersurat discovered in Kuala Berang in Terengganu).

Is it not ironical that Malays call Chinese Muslims ‘mualaf’ when the Chinese were Muslims almost 1,000 years before the Malays even heard of Islam?

More interesting history of Selangor Sultanate, Yap Ah Loy,and the Indian "immigrants" as you venture into the rabbit hole....

Okay, now take my family as an example. The Selangor Sultanate was founded in 1745. The first Sultan, Raja Lumu, migrated here from the Riau islands in Indonesia. By then, of course, the Arabs, Indians and Chinese had already been here 200 to 300 years, some even longer. But these Arabs, Indians and Chinese were traders and merchants, not warriors or fighters, whereas the Bugis from Riau only knew one occupation - fighting and plundering.

In short, they were pirates, which was a noble profession back in those days where even Queen Elizabeth the First knighted those English pirates who plundered Spanish ships. In fact, the Bugis came here because of a sort of civil war in their home country. There was a fight over a girl and the son of the local Ruler was killed in that fight. So the offending party was exiled and had to leave Riau. And that was when they came here in the 1700s and founded the Selangor Sultanate. Do not members of the Selangor Royal Family fighting with their Ruler and going into exile sound very familiar to you? Yes, 300 years ago this was the ‘tradition’ and still is in my case.

Invariably, the Bugis, being fighters, took Selangor as their territory by the sheer force of its ‘army’. None of the traders, who although were here earlier, would dare resist the Bugis who enjoyed killing (some Bugis still do today, as you may well be aware). But Selangor was under Perak patronage. So Raja Lumu had to make a trip to Lumut in Perak to get crowned as the First Sultan by the then 17th or so Sultan of Perak. (Can’t remember if it was the 15th or 17th but it was around that). And he took the name of Sultan Salehuddin Shah. Selangor eventually grew in prosperity. Actually, tin had already been discovered even before Raja Lumu became Sultan in 1745. And it was the Chinese who were working the tin mines.

But now, since Selangor had a ‘government’, all the land in Selangor became ‘state property’. And therefore the Chinese had to get permission from the Sultan before they could mine for tin. Around 100 years later, only when Sultan Abdul Samad took over as the Fourth Sultan of Selangor in 1859 (he was born in 1804) did they properly organise the tin industry. New areas were opened up in Ampang, Rawang, Kajang, and whatnot. And of course, all these tin mines were owned by the Sultan and members of his family -- brothers, sons, nephews, etc.

The Malays, however, did not want to work those mines. Conditions were hard and diseases wiped out entire communities. Those who survived these brutal conditions were the exception rather than the rule. So they needed people who were desperate enough to work those tin mines and were prepared to take the risk and probably lose the ‘gamble’. And who else to talk to if not the Chinese who had already been working those mines for hundreds of years? So members of the Selangor Royal Family went into ‘joint venture’ with the Chinese, just like they did in Perak, another rich tin state. The Malay Royals would 'arrange' for the tin concessions and the Chinese would provide the labour force to work those concessions.

In a way, you could say that the Selangor Royal Family were the first to ‘invent’ the Ali Baba system back in the 1800s, long before the New Economic Policy in 1970. Anyway, to reach Ampang and those other surrounding rich tin areas, they had to travel up the Klang River. Raja Abdullah and Yap Ah Loy led the first expedition and they landed on the site where the Gombak River and Kelang River meet. The place where they landed is the site of the famous Masjid Jamek in Kuala Lumpur.

From there they marched overland through the jungle into Ampang. And thereafter Kuala Lumpur was never the same again. It prospered and continued to prosper over more than 200 years from the 1800s. Yap Ah Loy bought up a lot of land in Kuala Lumpur and built his business empire. He opened bars, brothels and all sorts of businesses, legal as well as illegal (illegal by today’s standards though). Even the British Colonial ‘masters’ would patronise Yap Ah Loy’s brothels to sample the latest ‘China Dolls’ brought in from the mainland. Of course, the normal customers would have to pay for these vices. The British masters, however, could enjoy all these services for free. Yes, even back in the 1800s the Chinese businessmen were already bribing the government officials.

Now, while Yap Ah Loy has been entered into the history books as the ‘Founder of Kuala Lumpur’, Raja Abdullah is never mentioned. The only thing associated with Raja Abdullah is that road in Kampong Baru that carries his name. Yap Ah Loy may have been the capitalist who opened up Kuala Lumpur. But he was only able to do so because he had a ‘sleeping’ partner, Raja Abdullah, who gave him all this land to develop. Okay, that is the Chinese story. So, yes, some did come here as prostitutes working for Yap Ah Loy. But that was incidental. Whenever frontier land is opened up the girls servicing these frontier-men follow -- like in the Wild West of America. Would you say that the White immigrants to America were all prostitutes?

Now, over to the Indians. As I said, the Indian (and Arab) traders and merchants first came here more than 500 years ago and even brought Islam to this country. But the ‘other’ Indians, the workers, came at about the time that Yap Ah Loy and Raja Abdullah were turning Kuala Lumpur into a thriving metropolis. At that time, the British planters were in Ceylon (Sri Lanka today) growing cocoa. Then a plant disease spread throughout the island and all the trees died. But this disease not only killed all the trees but contaminated the land as well. This means the land was now useless and it was not a matter of just replanting.

Then the British looked at Malaya and decided that the conditions (land, climate, etc.) in Malaya were the same as in Ceylon. So they relocated their cocoa estates to Malaya. But there was no way they could get the Malays to work these cocoa estates. Furthermore, the Ceylonese workers were well trained and had been doing this work for years. So, in the mid-1800s, the British brought the now unemployed Ceylonese cocoa workers to this country to work the Malayan cocoa plantations.

Then disaster struck. Brazil over-planted cocoa and this triggered a worldwide glut. It was no longer economical to plant cocoa. The price you would fetch for your cocoa was lower than your production cost. The British had no choice but to close down the cocoa plantations. Around that time, the British, who had mischievously smuggled rubber seeds out of Brazil (which was a crime then), successfully grew rubber trees in the Kew Gardens in London. They also did some research and discovered a better way of planting rubber trees where the trees would give a better yield compared to the trees in Brazil. Rubber planting in Brazil was haphazard and not properly organised. Since Malaya had to close down all its cocoa plantations and it now had idle plantation land and surplus Ceylonese workers, the British planters decided to switch over to rubber. And because the British took advantage of research and technology, the Malayan rubber trees were more productive and profitable.

Eventually, Malaya dislodged Brazil as the top rubber producer in the world. So, from the mid-1800s to around 1920, Indians and Chinese came to Malaya in great numbers. This was more or less the second wave of mass migration. And it was for economic reasons and to provide the labour for jobs that the Malays would never do. But there were earlier and other migrations as well. For example, around the late 1800s and early 1900s, the British set up English medium schools for Malays. One such school, the Malay College Kuala Kangsar, was a school exclusive for sons of Royalty and the Malay elite.

Invariably, they needed schoolteachers who were proficient in the English language. And India offered a good source of English medium schoolteachers (Malays could not speak English yet at that time). On the commercial side, there were many Indian businesses, workers and whatnot. But there was no way they could qualify for loans from British owned banks. So the Indians from the Chettiar community came here to set up money-lending businesses to service their community. When the Malayan rail network was being developed, where else to get the workers if not from the country with the largest railway in the world, India? And so on and so forth. That is the history of Malaya’s immigration.

As I said in an earlier article last month, those who seek public office must first be made to sit for a history test. Only when they pass the test should they be allowed to become ministers, political secretaries, press secretaries, etc. This will avoid them making stupid statements like what many of the Umno people are now doing. I can go on and on. But let me stop here, as this article is already getting very lengthy as it is. I trust, however, that this brief history of Malaya can enlighten you on the truth. Never accept what Umno says without first checking with me.

This article originates from HERE
Rabbit hole ends here.....
...Click here to find out how deep the rabbit hole goes.....

And so this year the Lion Dances...(tiger, lion...close enuff..)

If there's anyone who should be on the cover of a 1Malaysia Magazine, it should be me. I mean, I'm a ...let me see...(focus Pah Nur!!!!)...urm...Malay, who looks Chinese, loves Indian delicacies and basically hangs out most of the time (the little time she hangs out), at Mamak stalls with well, everyone. Oh, by the way, looking Chinese is very convenient if you go out on a date and decided to lepak tepi tasik with your boyfriend who don't look like a Malay.....and p.s.. pretend you've forgotten to bring your IC and whatever you do..do not speak BM the way Malays speak it...pretend to speak BM with a heavy Chinese accent. If you want to make the auta-rities more confused, talk in BM with heavy Tamil accent.

Anyway, one of the million reasons I love about Malaysia is that, we are so diverse, it blows my mind away (err....in a non-jihadist manner). Despite being dragged through the foetid sinkhole created by power craved politicians, the rifts they create to divide and rule, to stay relevant, at the heart of the matter, I personally feel that at ground level, Malaysians are cool with each other, although some still need to realize that they need to share this country sooner or later.

I remember walking through the Golden Triangle, breathing in the life enveloping me, and listening to the pulsation of the city, it made me feel alive and there and then, I realize, that there's no place in the world I'd rather be. I'm sure I'm not the only one sharing this sentiment. We just need to work through this growing pain folks. Let's stick together and wade this through.

One of my favourite thing is to watch the Lion Dance...err...it'll be great to watch a lion in their wild environment dance, but I don't think anyone had ever survived training wild lions to dance to tell the story of how wonderful they look, or video tape it.

Soon it'll be the year of the Lions. I wish every Malaysian a very prosperous New Year. May the new year bring you happiness, wealth, good health, good relationships and increase our spirituality and love towards each other...achieve a true 1 Malaysia..

GONG XI FA CHAI !!
GONG XI FATT CHOY !!
GUNG HAY FAT CHOY !!

Enjoy this beautiful lion dance:

We Are All Sinners !!!

I don't understand why some people think that Islam is no funny business. I mean, apart from Salman Rushdie I'm sure people who read the soal jawab ugama in the local papers, listening in to some of the ceramah agama blasted through the mosque speakers, on a boring day will tell you they get all the giggles they need out of reading about clerics issuing fatwas.. The last fatwa that made me laugh was Breastfeed for brotherhood program, and that was issued sometime in 2007. Come to think of it, maybe the end of days due 2012 will come the moment these jokers ran out of these fatwas. I mean, when humor dies, the world comes to an end right? Maybe that was what Nostradamus' s prophesy in 2012 ..is all about....the end of fartwas....

What am I ranting about? Haven't you heard yet? We are all sinners!!! Read about fatwa from the Egyption Cleric calling FB users sinners.

What next? Ban men because they have sperm, ban women ...wait...women have long been banned in form of suppression, ban coke because if wrongly pronounced it will sound like, "May I have two large 'cocks' please?", ban books because they can lead to intellectualism, (oh wait, they've already been doing that), ban laughing too hard because they may lead to hernia, ban dancing because it can lead to sex? The last statement comes with a story, courtesy of Art Harun; which to me, explains very well the process of thinking involved in the making of some fartwas...

"A Saudi couple, Ahmed and Layla, preparing for their wedding, meet with their Mullah for counseling.

The Mullah asks if they have any last questions before they leave.

Ahmed asks, "We realize it's tradition in Islam for men to dance with
men, and women to dance with women. But, at our wedding reception, we'd
like your permission to dance together."
"Absolutely not," says the Mullah. "It's immoral. Men and women always
dance separately."
"So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"
"No," answered the Mullah, "It's forbidden in Islam."
"Well, okay," says Ahmed, "What about sex? Can we finally have sex?"
"Of course!" replies the Mullah, "Allah Akbar! (GOD is great) Sex is OK
within marriage, to have children!"
"What about different positions?" asks the man.
"Allah Akbar! Mafi Mushkila (no problem)," says the Mullah.
"Woman on top?" Ahmed asks.
"Sure," says the Mullah. "Allah Akbar. Go for it!"
"Doggy style?"
"Sure! Allah Akbar!"
"On the kitchen table?"
"Yes, yes! Allah Akbar!"
"Can I do it with all my four wives together on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators,leather harnesses, a bucket of honey and a porno video?"
"You may indeed.. Allah Akbar!"
"Can we do it standing up?"
"No, absolutely not!" says the Mullah."
"Why not?" asks the man.
"Because that could lead to dancing!"

What next to ban eh? How about we ban banning? That sounds more logical right?

Quran:[Yusufali 16:116]

"But say not - for any false thing that your tongues may put forth,- "This is lawful, and this is forbidden," so as to ascribe false things to Allah. For those who ascribe false things to Allah, will never prosper".

"AI" stands for "Artificial Intelligence" lah..

Today, all eyes are feasted upon whats-his-face again?..saiful I think, but who cares, really, about the face since all eyes are on his asshole. Yes, it’s the hot international worthy headline produced by Malaysians, that makes you want to quickly switch off the TV once it is mentioned on international news such as CNN, BBC etc or just hide your face in the niche of either one of your armpits…It’s Sodomy Part 2 telenovela made in Malaysia, sponsored by the tax payers..

The dispute started off when Mahathir sang “I did it my way”, apparently his favourite song, but Anwar, instead, insisted that he sang, oops….allegedly sang, “I did it the other way”, hence the sodomy trial he ended up with, . Frankly, I don’t really give a damn about who got buggered or who is the bugger, I have nothing against people who enjoy the alternative way to conventional sex, long as it doesn’t involve me anywhere in between.

I’m even okay with bestiality long as the donkey do not press charges for it’s penile blister or something less mundane for the veterinarians to diagnose. After all, the Arabs do it although they will swear upon the Quran that they don’t and everyone who do it will go to hell (hell is definitely an interesting place since every interesting character I know off are going there)…as far as I’m concern, better do the donkey than the Arabs, at least the donkey won’t bother opening their mouth to have a conversation with you.

I do not like Anwar Ibrahim. Not for the reasons shared by many politicians and their disciples, but because of personal experience….err..in a non harlot sense of it, just in case you have ideas crawling up that idle mind that becomes a devil’s workshop of yours. And there’s one political reason for my not liking him.

Let’s crawl into the wormhole of thoughts and back into the past. First thing that goes through our minds I'm sure would be, "what the hell was I thinking when I was in my 20s?!". By now you would have realized, that we are better off now, having our heads finally put together, at the expense of the body falling apart though. Okay, dumb jokes aside, I was involved in getting a bunch of Medical Students to approach the Kementerian Pelajaran.

To cut a very Bollywood-like long story short, these 7 students got their seats played out, but the system accommodated them to cover up their accidentally unveiled plot, only to impose ridiculous and non achievable standards guaranteed to purge them back out again, in order to maintain a success rate of the incoming brand new integrated system, due the year after.

Turned out, the administration was determined to kick more than 7 students due to overload of students , including those who came back from overseas, flunked from being the government’s guinea pig (from Belgium and many more places where the students had language barrier) and ended up in the same batch. The administrator introduced a point system, so to make sure it was impossible to meet and well, suffice to say that close to about 50 students were kicked out from the faculty that year.

All students were denied the opportunity to repeat the individual papers that they flunked not to mention denied to repeat the whole year and was kicked out, just like that. Needless to say this included the seven students who’s seats got played out by the administration. It was arranged by the student body for these 7 students to plead to the Education Ministry, the intention being, given the circumstances created for them by the administration, they be allowed to repeat at least the the individual papers that they had flunked, if not a whole academic year.

This project (much… much later we found out, after connecting the dots) served as a project for the Medical Dean’s wife, who happen to come from a very strong and influential UMNO clan. Hardly two years later, she was promoted from Prof Madya to Professorship, due to the “success” of this Integrated System Curriculum, of course at the expense of not just the 7 students, but the other 20 who were absorbed into the Uni after flunking from yet another failed JPA project, mostly from Belgium.

These students had language barrier (you don’t say...which idiot decided to send them to Belgium again?) and had failed miserably in their respective Uni in Belgium. If I were to learn medicine in Belgium, I’d probably bring back a vocabulary on Belgium expletives, handy to use it right on the face of the JPA personnel, cursing them with the sweetest smile in French, Dutch and German, equally, but of course that is but another story. By the way, the curriculum got switched back to it's conventional mode 5 years later. I did not follow up which UMNO member needed their professorship to revert the system this time around. I was out of the Uni and into my own misery that I dug all by myself, it's called "becoming a government doctor" by the way.

Anyway, none was allowed to repeat a whole year (of course, wouldn’t want to destroy the statistic ergo the success rate of the new program right?). Having their seats played out, not to mention they had merely 7 months to prepare for the 1st Professional Examination, compared to the standard 10 months, and not being able to not only re seat for the papers, but not allowed to repeat the academic year either, these students seek the students’ body’s help in representing them in seeking justice from the Kementerian Pelajaran.

That was where I stepped in. So, as one of the representatives to the students’ body, I was amongst a handful of student who went to seek the Education Minister’s help in settling the matter. In a way, I did not let them down, in the sense of making our voices heard. Obviously my talents of slicing others with my tongue, was proven put to good use that day.

Guess what was Anwar’s greeting line the first time he saw us? I’d quote to you in his exact words, so that you can be the judge.

“Senanglah ya, dah fail jumpa menteri”.

(Convenient of you, to flunk and come see the minister)

That was the moment, when it hit me, that this guy is truly an ASSHOLE. Here’s how I came into conclusion. He’s where he is then, because the rakyat elected him, and put him there. He’s not there to insult people at first hello. That is not what he got paid for. To come up with such a statement, even before he listen and gave us a chance to open our mouths to sigh, goes to show that he’s not there in the interest of the rakyat. The very basic trait of a leader is to listen and when people who had been oppressed come to him for help, then dammit, it’s his job to un-oppress them, or at least solve the matter. Worst comes to worst, if he still belong in the human clan, offer an ear to listen to our problems.

I remember I sat just beside him as he sat at the head of the long conference table and he was giving his long lecture of why Ministers should not intervene in the affairs of the University (of course, our local universities do not offer pelajaran, and that was why it does not come under the jurisDICKtion of the Kementerian Pelajaran) and he was going on and on in his eloquent politician ranting, yadddaaaa yadaaaa yakkk yakkk blah blah and more blah….basically, it’s like driving from KL all the way to Kuantan via Grik and Terengganu, instead of just taking the KL-Kuantan highway.

I think I managed to piss him off with my verbal diarrhoea that really made him turn red…I kid you not, he was redder that a Santa on alcohol. And I told him off in English by the way. I remember telling him, ( I tend to speak my mind in English whenever I’m pissed off and just got fed up)

“Yang Berhormat, with all due respect, we are not here to beg you to pass us. We are merely here to plead to you, so as justice to these students be served. It was not their fault that they are women, and it was not their fault that the Vice Chancellor is paranoid that there will be more women than men doctors in the future, nor it was not their fault that the VC predicted that these ladies, will join Arqam, get married and breed halfway of after obtaining their degree. It is not their fault that they found out their seats got played out. It was not their fault their seats got played out. It was not even their fault that they were only given 7 months to prepare for the 1st Professional Examination and it was not them who came up with non achievable point system that ensured they are not able to repeat the individual papers they flunked, let alone repeat the whole academic year. Their fault is that they refuse to succumb to the faulty system that the university had set. No, they are not here to ask you to pass them. They are here merely to request that justice be served. Clearly, injustice had been done here. At least allow them to repeat the individual papers they had flunked, some of them had only flunked one out of three papers, or repeat the academic year. These students are not stupid or incapable becoming medical students cum doctors, it’s just that they are the victims of circumstances, the circumstances set by the university. All they need is for you to help them get a second chance. Is that too much to ask from you?”

I could have sworn that the silence I had caused, not to mention his flaming red face, had enabled us to hear even a silent fart seeping insidiously making it’s way from anyone’s tip of the gastrointestinal tract, in that particular room at that moment. Everyone was observing in shocked silence, including me, who at that time was thinking of what other options I have should they kick me out of the medical school. Even selling Ramlee burger, as demure as it sounded, felt like a brilliant idea at that particular frame of time.


Finally, after recovering from my verbal diarrhea spurted onto his face, his ranting took a turn into rhetoric then finally promises, which later proved to be empty.

I kid you not. He was being very polite from that point on, probably just to get rid of us, or me. Obviously I'm toxic to his conscience, if ever he had one. However, the word “sifar” may have as well been invented by him, when it comes to the feedback of that meeting. He did absolutely NOTHING. We figured much later, perhaps this UMNO guy was not keen on intervening in the turf of the other UMNO goons, not even for the sake of justice. It was then, it dawned to us all, that UMNO was not there to help anyone, BUT themselves.

Of course, when I heard what happened to him, the first thought that came to my mind was, “ Wow…..there is a God…the phrase ‘what goes around comes around’ was not invented without a reason. I believe, the Hindus call it…KARMA?”

Well, that’s the personal reason why I think Anwar is not the leader he tries to project himself to be. I almost choked on my own saliva laughing when on a national televised debate he had sometime last year with the Minister of Information, he said out loud something about feeling pity for the farmers and the kampong people for the increment of the oil price. Yeah , right, he’s very concern about people being oppressed. Him talking about justice is like the most religious clerics talking sense.

As for political reasons, well, I’m not really into politics because basically Malaysian politics is crap, albeit necessary to know. A truly irritating combo. I truly felt the chills when he was encouraging Malaysia to accept the IMF help. That and the article I read about him stating that he is in good books with Paul Wolfowitz and Al Gore.

Hmmm…..where have I heard that name before…Al Gore…Al Gore…very familiar in an irritating manner indeed…ah yes…could it be Al Gore the lead actor in the drama called Climategate? the forefront con artist who is representing the oligarchies in bagging money from carbon tax, part of the plan for a New World Order? My, my, apparently it's not just the birds, but assholes too flock together. It’s no wonder why CNN and BBC are especially fond of who’s asshole Anwar’s allegedly buggered. I’m sure they were kind of more hoping that it would be that of Mahathir's. They were probably be wondering, how can they keep that feisty ol' man's trap shut from unveiling the demons amongst them? But to attempt that may prove to be a rape in form of a fellatio. So, we are all left with the sodomy trials to further remind us that after all, we are merely a develop-ING country, a long way to go before we finally become developed and can afford to become world's most annoying megalomaniac powered by the nuclear, to back it up.

And here's something about Paul Wolfowitz..

Funny how whenever people refer him as "AI", I'd thought of it as "Artificial Intelligence". "A" stands for "Artificial", how befitting.

Well, there you go. My reasons for not liking Anwar Ibrahim. It’s not because he belongs to the Back Street Boys club, but simply because he would say anything to gain popularity amongst voters, yet do completely something else, or in our case, did completely nothing. What’s that word I’m looking for…hmm..ah yes…a hypocrite. Then again..isn't hypocrisy is the mandatory requirement to become politicians?