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Saturday, 16 June 2007

Ahoy there me maitees Malaysians over board!!!

My friends from overseas, (some of them laaa) were surprised with the news of our Prime Minister's re-marriage. Why? You didn't think he can still get it up ah?
Men-no-pause laaa.... For the benefit of my friends who are,as I am writing this, deprived of roti canai, satay,teh tarik,tosey, char kuey teow,mamak stall ambiance with talk of politics charging the sticky hot air, and many other dishes, responsible for the annual increase of the pants size, the "laa-s" at the end of each sentence,(oh! I could go on and on...) here's an update on malaysian scenario(my version of it anyway - I'll try to express them without getting booked into ISA, you guys just read between the line lah )

Yes, Pak Lah remarried. He married Endon's sister in law, who took care of Endon during her time of need before passing her last breath. She is, was, rather, a widow,( if my secret source was not drunk, taking me for a ride) and a Filipino by race. Unfortunately, few days after the wedding, instead of having to attend to his flooded matrimonial bed,he had to sort out the flash flood that hit Kuala Lumpur on 10th June 2007. The reason why I stated the year 2007, is because, at the exact same date, but in the year 2003, Kuala Lumpur suffered the same tragedy. Perhaps Mother Nature is sending us a message, a strong one. My only regret is that none of the Mat Rempits got their motorcycle washed away by the current, or burried by the thick mud. I am eagerly waiting for Karam Singh Wallia to update me with his version of KL flood and his latest pantuns. Haaa..aren't we true Malaysians, a hopeless malay learning pantun from a Bhai...woit! tereeeyyyy...

Mother nature's messages:

Message #1 : It is still okay to get married at the age of 70. Just make sure you
take care of yourself and not get heart diseases so that at least
if your physiological body fail you, the viagra can safely be
used without you dying from heart attack. Tips : practice with your
partner the types of scream to differentiate between that of ultimate
pleasure, and ultimate cry for help.

Message #2 : JT (Justin Timberlake laa you old boring people...haiyaaa...) is
right. What goes around, comes around, and he was not talking
about no boomerang either. You polute your environment, your
environment strikes back, larger in scale as compared to that of the
Empire.....( may the force be with him)

Message #3 : The cronnies will probably have long lives to see their sins paid.
I doubt if they have any conscience in them, but just in case
somewhere along they way, they decide to adapt one, then I
think they should let the big boys handle the big projects,the one
with the real qualifications, not some big shot's uncle's
neighbour's wife's son in law.

Otherwise, Badawi is still the PM, albeit, it would have sounded funnier had it been Dr Mahathir instead. Anwar Ibrahim is still trying to climb up Badawi's ass,a little tricky now that Badawi had remarried. Oil price, tepung price was up, in keeping with Badawi's "keep his up" policy. I think Viagra's price would be up too, since PM's remarriage. Sami Velloo is still as hilarious as ever. His latest joke was regarding JKR having nothing to do with the flash flood in KL.

I suspect that the General Election will take place as soon as Altantuya's case recites. For those who have seen "Wag the Dog", you can definitely read between these lines. For those who have no idea who Altantuya is, she's the Mongolian model who was blown up to pieces,far more finer than that of any jigsaw puzzle.(no wonder people blow up evidences, I can't even put together my daughter's
Winnie the Pooh Jigsaw Puzzle when she was 4).. The escape goat this time happenned to be the polical analyst, Abdul Razak Baginda. I'm sure, by now, no parents would allow any of their children to pick Political Analyst as their ambition.

Rumours has it that it was Najib, or rather his closest brother ( the one attached between his legs) instigated the whole drama that would make the afternoon telenovela on our local channel look nothing more than the minyak cap kapak advertisment. More rumours has it that Najib, Razak Baginda and Altantuya's father had some undercover subversive purchase of submarines, of which all were suppose to gain. There are also rumours saying it was Rosmah who blew the gal into pieces. Some say, had Rosmah did a good job "blowing" her husband, (in a non violence sense of it),instead of blowing into the microphones during her many kara-o-key parties she hosted (wonder where all that money came from), all these unnecessary drama could have been avoided.(assuming the rumours are true lah kan) With all this thick plots, it's no wonder Karpal Singh has taken post of the prosecuting team. Only a Bhai's nose,here in malaysia,is big enough to detect the foul smell of politics. May the force be with him.

Today, the Star portrayed Najib's photo on front page, wiping his tears after giving a speech during the opening of "Tun Abdul Razak's Legacy to National Development" seminar, organized by Akademi Pemuda at the Sime Darby Conventional Centre. His father, had he been alive, would have cried him a river, had he known that his son was involved in the rumour of being responsible in the "maju ke depan" of a Mongolian model.(Oh yes,the only method of contraception that offers 100% protection is abstinence)

But I can bet you my bottom dollar, this case file, as any case involving politicians, will end up in government's own X-Files,beside Rafidah's, and many other's files.

So remember folks, if your kids want to get filthy rich, encourage them to become either a Hollywood star like Dato' Michelle Yeoh, or a Malaysian Politician. Discourage them to become a political analyst.....


nevenka said...

...your father's day article gave me an idea...didn't they say that Malay men should as second wife marry single mothers?? as you are, you would have tons of men to choose from...but knowing you a little I think you would rather stay single by choice....and do you not think that politician should set an example and take the first step...I mean... I am sure there would be some of them happy to marry Prime Minister's Deputy ...he has enough money to help out and care for one lucky, hard working single mother...

pah nur said...

Frankly, unless if it is because of true love, I feel sad for those who marry the politicians. It is not easy. I'd rather become a free spirit single being, rather than get hooked up for the heck of it, least of all, a politician. Unless he is like Judge Deed, my virtual boyfriend from Channel 26 Astro...except for the philandering portion though...(why can't he fancy cars like other blokes?!!)

Ever heard of Trophy Wives? Well, some women fancy the post I guess. Me? I'll wait for my true love....I think everyone should.

P/S People like me intimidate men!!!

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