MONKEY BIZ

I was out jogging in one of the most well preserved track in Lembah Kelang yesterday evening. It is but my favourite track, walking through secondary-primary jungle gives me the cardiovascular workout I need, as well as a piece of mental serenity. Indeed, you have to experience walking through this fantastic path to know what I am talking about.

Halfway up the slope, between my huffing and puffing, I was acquainted with an elderly man, who brought his, grandchildren I presume, for a nature walk. By the time I was 10 feet away from them, there were a group of monkeys enveloping the keen nature lovers. The reason for the small gathering was made clear to me as they got within my visual focus, I was quite displeased to see them feeding the monkeys. I remember wondering whether they were illiterate, as the sign at the starting point of the track read,
“ Please do not feed the monkeys”. I was quite sure that there must have been incidences in the past that lead to the erection of the signboard. No establishment would like to waste paint and board, or pay handsomely to the signboard makers unless there is a reason behind it.

I smiled at him as I stopped to allow the monkeys catch the food and reminded him of the signage. The answer I got was, “I know, but pity the monkeys. They haven’t got anything to eat”. I glanced at the kuih bangkit held in his grasps and cannot help but wonder, are we teaching the monkeys’ taste buds to appreciate junk food? Are monkeys’ digestive system able to tolerate whatever it is that the human define as “food” ? Clearly, humans don’t eat grass, and cows don’t eat bak kut teh. There is a physiological reason behind it. Feeding the monkeys could therefore, cause them to be sick. So much, for feeling sorry for them.

I was quite tempted to convince him that the monkeys probably have a better quality of life, as compared to us humans. For starters, the monkeys don’t have to pay tax, something for the human, is as certain as death, or for women, as impending as their menopause. They get food from natural resources, not smeared with pesticides or tampered with hormones. They do not need to take up loan and buy vehicles to transport them to point A from point B. They do not need to take up loan from the bank just to get married, in fact, there is no such ceremony exists, as all they need to do is sniff each other and if the pheromones are right, just conjugate and get on with life. No marriage means no divorce. No feeling of disheartenment or feeling like a looser that plans did not work out the way that was intended. For female monkeys, they needn’t bother shaving every day, such a drag. Most importantly, the monkeys do not have to put up with dirty politicians, spare them the heartache of being lied to.

For those who have time to flick to Channel 50 (National Geography) or Animal Planet, you would envy the life of a monkey. They swing around from branch to branch, eat and sleep where they like. No schedule to keep. No care in the world, except who’s picking on who’s lice, should they eat those lice or save them later for the next snack time. Of course, sometimes they get killed by other animals, especially the Homo sapiens, but at least it is seldom their own kind who terminate their lives, unlike us human who kill our fellow species in bulks, without having our conscience so much as tickled.

If ever reincarnation is true, I would like to be born as a monkey in my next life. I’d be more happier I guess. So remember, when we look at those monkeys and feel sad for them,and when they look back with sadness in their eyes, they may just as well, they're probably feeling sorry for us, of course, they have more reasons to be...