I sent off wishes of "Happy Father's Day" to my friends last week, one week before the actual celebration date,as usual, living up to my scatter brain title. The only date I remember is probably my daughter's birthday, that too because she makes sure I remember it everyday, 6 months before it. As I am a widow, now, I no longer have to remember even my last date of menstruation. A perk I guess. (soon,there will be no menses, needless to remember when they come and when they go..)
A few friends replied back, wishing me, "Happy Father's Day". I was touched. I am a single parent. I have to admit it can get really tough at times, playing a double role of a mother and a father simultaneously. I cannot imagine how the hermaphrodites do it(except the DIY sex part I guess :-> )
Well,I can do a sloppy job,but one have to remember that you have to be nice to your kids,since they may be the one picking up which old folks home you'll stay in some unlucky day sometime in the future.
Yes, it is tough if you set your standards high in the upbringing of your children. But God!, for me it is rewarding (...so far, I may think otherwise once she becomes an official teenager, a synonym for "pain in the arse")
There are times when I feel like I have failed my daughter, that i am unable to provide her the father any child needs in his/her growing years. That's when I'd wish they'd sell a father off the counter,without prescription,at the supermarkets(if so, I'd look forward to the "buy one, get one free" promotion ). But as everyone knows, life does not always turn out the way we plan. Otherwise, I would have been Mrs Brad Pitt, instead, a Mrs Pitted.
I guess, in a way,I have been doing a good job so far. My daughter had gone fishing, camping,cycling, jungle tracking with me not to mention learn how to shave from me(well, that's what fathers do best). Did I miss anything? Everyday, I pray that, even if i f....k up, let it be not too damaging an impact.
Sometimes, when a guy asked me out on a date, she'd be the one fussing over what I should wear,over my hairdo, my shoes, in all excitement."Ummi, that black dress make you look skinny"(I AM skinny) or "that lipstick is too red, you don't wan't him to think you want him to kiss you on the first date".(Oh! But I do..but that's another story..). The make over service comes with tips on how to woo a guy. Can you believe it? My daughter teaching me how to woo a guy. (Of course she doesn't have any idea what mommy would be up to, on her time off from parenthood...)
Ah well...Fatherhood.... Frankly, I need some steroids to keep up with the machoism many a time. There are moments when I felt jaded. It can get tiring,really, holding two post at a time ( It's like a housewife having an extramarital affair...its energy draining...).But somehow rather, I recover my energy again everytime I look at those little hopefull eyes. I believe, when a father look at his child, he may feel like a miracle is staring back at him. He may wonder, "what the hell I did right to deserve this?"...I hope all fathers do. Because being a father to my child, that is exactly how I feel...It's euphoric...
And for you kids out there, don't give your father too hard a time. Especially if your parent is single, give them a break, as they are only trying their best.
"HAPPY FATHER'S DAY" to all fathers and mothers who are fathers too......
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